Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Subway Drop

Volume 8, Issue 27 Friday, July 07, 2006

Hello All,

Happy 4th of July. I saw Garrison Keillor’s Independence Day Special: A Prairie Home Companion at Tanglewood on AETN Sunday night. As usual, it was great. Then, Monday night, we watched the Magnolia Jaycees Fireworks show from David and Bobbie’s back yard. FANTASTIC!!
~~~~~
The Columbia County Courthouse is 100 years old. It’s suffering from termites, over crowding and age, but I still like the old building much more than any of the “modern” buildings I’ve seen in other counties.
~~~~~
Copper Thefts are increasing. Builders are having to lock up wire and wait until new homes have siding and doors on before they run wire in the house.
~~~~~
Sandy Kirkpatrick passed away Tuesday evening. Services were today, Friday July 7, at 1st Baptist in McNeil. There was a large crowd of friends and family. Annette and I liked Sandy and enjoyed the times we spent together on OEM business trips.
~~~~~
Congratulations to Erin and Kristi Price on the birth of their second child. Emily Claire was born on July 6 at 4:55 p.m. She weighed 7 pounds, 15 ounces, and was 20 ½ inches long.
~~~~~
Dinah Sue wrote to tell us that Elizabeth gave birth to a 7lb 7oz baby girl on June 28 at 6:31 a.m. Her name is Summer Elizabeth and both are doing fine. All of the Taylor kids in our stories are now grandparents.
~~~~~
The photos on the front of this weeks “Bleat” include Annette’s Mom, Cousins and Uncle and Uncle Herb and Aunt Shirley at his 50th class reunion with Gene Edwards and Pat Downs.
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Don’t forget to check out www.mcc2000.net
~~~~~
This Weeks Taylor kid story "The gun fight and the hobo.”

The Norwoods lived in a beautiful old wooden home at the east end of Hearn Street, just by the railroad.

They had a grandson that visited in the summer and we always looked forward to playing with him.

There home had two distinctive features. One was a well-stocked library that we marveled over, even though we were too young to read.

The other was a bullet hole in the northeast corner of the house.

It seems that a wanted fugitive was “riding the rails” during the ‘30s and was spotted on the Arkansas and Louisiana railroad. Local law enforcement gathered at Taylor to stop the train and search it. Seeing the massed lawmen, he fled into the Norwoods yard. A gun battle ensued and he was wounded and captured. But not before one bullet permanently marked the Norwood home.
~~~~~
Grandmother's house was a large, three bedroom wooden structure with a porch all the way across the front. There were two doors leading off the porch and into the house. The left one led into the front bedroom, the right one opened into the living room.

The house was basically splint in half with the living room, dining room and kitchen on the north side and the three bedrooms on the south side.
A hallway connected the front bedroom, guest bedroom, dining room, bathroom and back bedroom.

Another hallway connected the dining room and the kitchen. As a child, this was the scary hallway. There was a door at each end and it was DARK when the light was off. There was a pantry that ran on one side of the hall, accessible from the kitchen. The back bedroom closet was on the south side of the hall.

My cousins and I never walked down this hall, we always RAN down it.
The back porch was enclosed and my grandmother rented it out to boarders.

After my dad died, my mom and I lived in the front bedroom. In the winter, my grandmother would wake me and have the gas space heater in the living room lit. I'd gather my clothes and dress in front of the heater, then RUN to the kitchen where she usually had my breakfast laid out on the oven door (there was no other heat in the kitchen.)

In the back yard, was a cast iron wash pot where grandmother and Miss Ida would boil clothes. And there was a scrub board involved in this process.

In the dining room, on the north side, against the windows was a bench, built into the wall. The bench had doors on the bottom where books and papers were stored. Before my time, there had been a table in front of the bench and my mother and her brothers and sisters sat on that bench and ate. Kids didn't eat at the formal table.

By my time, the table in front of the bench was gone, but kids still didn't eat at the formal table until the adults had finished. Most of the time, we ate at the table in the kitchen.

This leads up to the true story of Sunday Dinner for the Preachers. My grandmother always invited visiting ministers to the house for Sunday Dinner. On this occasion, there were several preachers and the formal dining table was in use.

My mother and her siblings were in the kitchen waiting their turn to eat when my uncle Fort said "I bet them D__n Preachers eat all the chicken." Bob, the youngest sibling heard this and made his way from the kitchen to the dining room. After surveying the activities at the table, Bob loudly proclaimed (while still standing in the dining room with the adults) "Yep, them D__n Preachers are eating all the chicken." That's all he said before he was snatched up and taken to the wood shed. It was there that a complete (both physical and verbal) lesson was given in courtesy to guests.
~~~
This weeks Charlie, Dinah Sue, and James Fort story “Hop-a-long Cassidy at the "lion" shack”

On Friday nights we gathered in the vacant lot between the Hub café and Pickler’s general store to watch movies. The seats were rough wooden benches, the screen was a whitewashed wooden fence and the projection booth was a Sears Roebuck tin outhouse. But admission was only a nickel and we loved the Western’s that were shown. Dinah Sue’s favorite was Roy Rogers, Charlie liked Gene Autry and my hero was Hop-a-long Cassidy.

One Friday, Hop-a-long was trapped by the bad guys in a “lion shack. We were always puzzled as to why cowboys would build a house for lions. (I would be a teenager before I learned that it was really a “line” shack, built to give cowboys shelter from the elements while they were rounding up strays.) Anyway, Hop-a-long, as usual, got the best of the bad guys in a shoot out with them on the outside and him taking refuge inside the shack.
During the gunfight, Hop-a-long moved from window to window, shooting at the bad guys who were on all sides of the shack. Each time, he’d break the window with his pistol and then shoot out. (We never questioned how cowboys could afford windows much less why he couldn’t have just shot through the window instead of breaking it. We’d never heard of “blanks.”)

The next morning, Saturday, we decided to play Hop-a-long in the lion shack. Now grandmother had a tin storage building (it still sits on Hearn street) that had four windows on each side and two windows on each end. Each window had 12 panes of glass.

The first order of business was to decide who would be Hop-a-long and who would be the bad guys. As usual, Dinah Sue won the argument and started out as Hop-a-long. After she broke all the panes in one window, we swapped and I became Hop-a-long and she joined Charlie as a bad guy. I finished off another window and Charlie became Hop-a-long. He had just began his stint as the hero when Uncle Paul discovered us and stopped the game.

Uncle Willard and my mom joined the adults investigating our “activities.” Charlie and Dinah Sue got whippings and mom told me not to break any more windows.

Dinah Sue still gets angry when I mention this incident. Something about the injustice of her and Charlie getting whippings for something that was my idea and I only got a scolding.
~~~~~
Recipe(s) of the week - We’re sharing recipes from Shannon Voigt’s new Taylor Recipe Book
Green Bean Casserole - Dr. Toni Taylor

Ingredients:
1 lb bag frozen green beans
1 can golden mushroom soup
1 roll garlic cheese
1-cup sour cream
1 large jar sliced mushrooms
dash of Worcestershire
durkee onions

Method:
Thaw green beans. Melt cheese and mushroom soup together. Mix with sour cream and mushrooms. Pour over green beans. Bake at 350º for 45 minutes. Add durkee onions and bake for 10 minutes longer.
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We’ve now got several addresses on the web for "Da Bleat." For the latest issue, go to http://www.bugsbleat.blogspot.com. Older issues can be found at http://www.bugsbleat2q.blogspot.com, http://www.bugsbleat1q.blogspot.com, http://www.bugsbleat3q05.blogspot.com, http://www.bugsbleatfirst.blogspot.com and http://www.bugsbleat4q05.blogspot.com. Our photos are now posted at http://www.bugsbleatphotos.blogspot.com.
~~~~~
Feel free to share the "Bleat" with any and all. That's why we publish it.
~~~~~
www.aaa.com Regular
Current Avg. $ 2.95
http://www.fuelgaugereport.com/
~~~~~
BreakPoint
With Chuck Colson

Intimidation Tactics
7/6/2006
Why We Need Privacy in Politics

Leo “Skip” Childs is the kind of person you’d want as your next-door neighbor. Skip puts in many hours every month volunteering as a firefighter in North Truro, Massachusetts. His wife, Marjorie, supports the rescue squad with hot coffee and homemade cakes.

But then, as columnist Maggie Gallagher relates, Skip signed a petition supporting traditional marriage. He was labeled a bigot, and thrown off the Board of Fire Engineers.

What happened to Skip is a frightening example of what can happen when we lose the right to keep our political views private.

Americans cherish our right to political privacy. In particular, we value our right to a secret ballot when we’re voting—a right we have had since 1892. Until then, citizens had to publicly announce who they were voting for. The secret ballot meant the end of intimidation by those who didn’t like the way others voted.

Today those old intimidation tactics have come roaring back. A group called “Know Thy Neighbor” is gathering the names of those who sign petitions in support of traditional marriage amendments and posting them online.

Know They Neighbor claims it only want to engage opponents in friendly dialogue. But citizens who signed the petitions don’t see it that way.

Florida nurse Lisa Owens told the Boston Globe that she was “furious” when she found out her name and address had been posted online. “If somebody wanted to do a hate crime, my address was right there,” she said. “I felt like my privacy had been invaded.” Other petition signers say they feel intimidated, as well.

Well, that’s the idea. Know Thy Neighbor leader Gary DeBusk revealed the group’s true agenda when he told the Globe: “We’re trying to say you cannot just take away people’s rights without being held accountable for that.”

Held accountable? For your political views? For expressing them in public? That’s the kind of thing that happens in Communist countries—not democracies.

This isn’t the only way Americans are losing their political privacy. At one website, you can find out which politicians your neighbors gave money to. Now, obviously, candidates need to keep track of their donations to prevent corruption. But does every $10 donation really need to be posted online for all the world to see?

Christians of all people understand the temptations that come with power: we’re all vulnerable. For instance, if you knew your grocer had signed a petition in favor of something you opposed, would you be tempted to shop elsewhere? How long would it be before companies routinely checked someone’s political views online before offering him a job?

It wouldn’t be long before we’d all be afraid to get involved in politics at all. After all, who would write checks or sign petitions if they might lose their job over it—as Skip Childs did?

We need to contact our state lawmakers and demand that steps be taken to protect people from this kind of intimidation. Disclosure is a good thing in a free society, but protections need to be built-in. Americans are entitled to express their views and not be punished for the way they vote or what they believe.

For Further Reading and Information

Today’s BreakPoint offer: Help support the Christian worldview ministries of BreakPoint and the Wilberforce Forum. Donate online today! Or call 1-877-322-5527.
Learn more about the Marriage Debate with BreakPoint’s resources and links.
Breakpoint Commentary No. 060609, “Behind Closed Doors.”
Robert H. Bork, “The Necessary Amendment,” First Things, August/September 2004.
Mary Rettig, “'Tolerance' Advocates Post Fla. Marriage Amendment Supporters' Names Online,” Agape Press, 19 June 2006.
The BreakPoint Web site and BreakPoint WorldView Magazine feature Colson’s commentaries as well as feature articles by other established and up-and-coming writers to equip readers with a biblical perspective on a variety of issues and topics.
© 2004-2006 Prison Fellowship
~~~~~
The Deputy Secretary of Defense, Gordon England, and Air Force Chief of Staff Gen. T. Michael Moseley announced today ‘Lightning II’ as the F-35 name during a Joint Strike Fighter inauguration ceremony in Fort Worth, Texas.

Moseley made the final decision after an extensive nomination and review process that was coordinated with the other military services and partner nations.

In naming the F-35 General Moseley said, "Today, the enemies of peace and freedom have been put on notice. They have feared this day because the F-35 provides the coalition warfighter the perfect blend of speed, precision, and stealth.

"In my travels, airmen have given me some great suggestions that we'll see on new Air Force weapons systems in the near future," he said. "The name for the F-35, ‘Lightning II,’ was a win for aviation heritage and culture."

The heritage associated with this name played a significant role in its selection. The original P-38 ‘Lightning’ was also a strike fighter and had the most air-to-air kills in the Pacific area of responsibility in World War II. Both of America’s top two aces, Maj. Richard Bong, with 40 kills, and Maj. Thomas McGuire, with 38 kills, scored all their victories in the P-38 ‘Lightning’ in World War II.

The ‘Lightning II’ name also draws parallels with a formidable force of nature. Like lightning, the F-35 ‘Lightning II’ will strike with destructive force. The stealth characteristics of the jet will allow the F-35 to strike the enemy with accuracy and unpredictability.

The F-35 ‘Lightning II’ is the next generation strike fighter bringing cutting-edge technologies to the battlespace of the future. The ‘Lightning II’ advanced airframe, logistics, avionics, propulsion systems, stealth, and firepower will make it an affordable, lethal, supportable and survivable aircraft for warfighters across the globe.

The Air Force is the Department of Defense’s executive agent for designating and naming military aerospace vehicles. Air Force and Navy representatives proposed the ‘Lightning II’ name during the review process.
~~~~~
Words of the Week:
plaudit: enthusiastic approval.
depredation: an act of plundering or ravaging.
complaisant: exhibiting a desire to please.
emblazon: to display pompously; to decorate.
apotheosis: a model of excellence or perfection of a kind.
hubris: overbearing pride or presumption.
genuflect: to bend the knee, as in worship; also, to grovel.
from Dictionary.Com
~~~~~
"The third-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking with the majority. The second-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking with the minority. The first-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking." - A.A. Milne

"I am still determined to be cheerful and happy, in whatever situation I may be; for I have also learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions, and not upon our circumstances." - Martha Washington
"I touch the future. I teach." - Christa McAuliffe

"If we value independence, if we are disturbed by the growing conformity of knowledge, of values, of attitudes, which our present system induces, then we may wish to set up conditions of learning which make for uniqueness, for self-direction, and for self-initiated learning." - Carl Rogers

"There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered." - Nelson Mandela

"It is one of the maladies of our age to profess a frenzied allegiance to truth in unimportant matters, to refuse consistently to face her where graver issues are at stake." - Janos Arany

"We turn not older with years, but newer every day." - Emily Dickinson
~~~~~
BREAKING CHRISTIAN NEWS
http://breakingchristiannews.com/

Life-Minded in Mexico Celebrate Election of New Pro-Life President
John-Henry Westen / AH (Jul 7, 2006)
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2727
"On the subject of abortion, I am pro-life, and I also see that it is a matter clearly regulated by law . . ."

Man in "Barely Conscious" State for Almost 20 Years, Suddenly Regained Speech and Movement - Now Doctors Have Proof that His Brain Rewired Itself
AP Staff / AH (Jul 6, 2006)
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2723
"He now seems almost exactly like his old self. And he very often tells us how glad he is to be alive."

African Boy Compared to Daniel in the Lion's Den - Survives Night with Wild Animals
Norman Silke/TN (Jul 5, 2006)
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2719
"There was nothing the matter with him, but he was very thirsty and drank two bottles of water and ate a lot of bread."

America's Independence Day, July 4 - a Closer Look at Our Founders' Inspiration
David Crowe / AH (Jul 4, 2006)
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2715
"We have this day restored the Sovereign to Whom all men ought to be obedient." - Samuel Adams.

Prayer Alert: Cheyenne Mountain Air Station, Which Houses NORAD, is Raised to "Bravo-Plus" Threat Level
AP Staff / AH (Jul 3, 2006)
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2714
Four Installations Across The Country Are Affected By Order From U.S. Space Command

Urgent Request for Prayer by "On Eagles' Wings" First Nations Team Ministering in Canada
Craig Smith / AH (Jul 3, 2006)
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2709
Below is a report from Summer of Hope 2006 in Canada, as the First Nations ministry team; On Eagles' Wings, brings the light of the Gospel into some of the darkest areas of Native North America. In an urgent prayer request sent out on Monday morning, director Craig Smith asks Believers to pray for a breakthrough on this, their last day in a very difficult location, and for strength and protection for the Native team. Included is a link to send the team words of encouragement as they endeavor to bring the hope of Christ to these hurting people. Thank you for your prayers and encouragement on behalf of this effective and important ministry! - Aimee Herd, BCN.

Retired Iraqi General Gave Heart to Christ - Says Name of Jesus is Praised in Saddam's Old Throne Room
Michael Ireland/TN (Jul 2, 2006)
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2706
"Sada concluded the evening with a heart-felt message of thanks to the American people for liberating his country and said all peace-loving people should 'kneel down and thank the [American] mothers and fathers who have sacrificed their sons and daughters for the sake of freedom in Iraq.' He asked for patience as Iraq's fledgling democracy builds a foundation and finds its way. But he also said there is far more good news in Iraq today than is being reported by the national news media."
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GCF: Subway Drop

Emailed to me from another humor list (You Make Me Laugh) -Tom
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--------------------------------------------

The Manhattan Commuter train was packed. Suddenly there was a jingle on the floor. Most necks were craned. One elderly gentleman, however, bent down and picked something up. He then asked, "Did anyone drop a half dollar?"

"I did," answered three men at once.

"Well," said the elderly gent with a smile, "here's a dime of it."
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Happy Birthday Elsie!

Emailed to me another humor list (Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh List) -Tom
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--------------------------------------------

I play pinochle regularly with seven other women, most of whom are 70 or older. Recently we celebrated the birthday of our oldest member by
taking her out to lunch. When the waitress came to take our order, one of the women said to her, "This is a very special occasion. It's Elsie's ninety-second birthday."

The waitress made seven instant enemies and one fast friend by asking the question, "Which one of you is Elsie?"
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Blind Date

Emailed to me from another humor list (Marty's Joke of the Day) -Tom
To subscribe to Marty's Joke of the Day, send a blank email to:
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"That was nice of you to set up a blind date for your ex-boyfriend."

"I know, but I don't hold any grudges."

"I'm surprised he trusted you enough to agree to go out with her."

"Well, I had to swear to him she's Jennifer Lopez's double."

"Wow! Is that true?"

"I wouldn't lie. She's twice her weight and twice her age."
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Nursery School Patriotism

Emailed to me from another humor list (Off the Church Walls) -Tom
To subscribe to Off the Church Walls, send a blank email to:
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--------------------------------------------

The Fourth of July was coming up, and the nursery school teacher took the opportunity to tell her class about patriotism. "We live in a great country," she said. "One of the things we should be happy about
is that, in this country, we are all free."

One little boy came walking up to her from the back of the room. He stood with his hands on his hips and said, "I'm not free. I'm four."
_ ____________________________ _
____________________________
\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / You know you're \ /
\ _/ getting old if ... \_ /
/ / You join a health club and don't go. \ ____________________________
\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
/ / 43% of all statistics are worthless. \ ____________________________
\\\\ \_/ / I think animal testing \ \_/ ////
\ / is a terrible idea. \ /
\ _/ They get all nervous \_ /
/ / and give the wrong answers. \ ____________________________
\\\\ \_/ / The reason most people \ \_/ ////
\ / play golf is to wear clothes \ /
\ _/ they would not be caught \_ /
/ / dead in otherwise. \ _ ____________________________ _
Thomas S. Ellsworth
tellswor@slonet.org
http://www.slonet.org/~tellswor
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[GCFL.net] Pray for the Mall Kids

I just spent several hours observing teenagers who were hanging out at our local mall. I came to the conclusion that many teenagers in America are living in poverty. Most of the young men I observed didn't even own a belt; there was not one among the whole group.

But that wasn't the sad part -- many of them were wearing their daddy's jeans. Some of these jeans were so big and baggy that they hung low on their hips, exposing their underwear. I know some of them must have been ashamed that their daddies were short, because the jeans hardly went below their knees. They weren't even their daddies' good jeans, for most of them had holes ripped in the knees and had a dirty look to them. It grieved me that in a modern, affluent society like America, there are people who can't afford a decent pair of jeans. I have been thinking about asking my church to start a jeans drive for the "poor kids at the mall."

I don't think this group of guys even had much to eat, because as they were walking, their heads leaned to one side as if they didn't have enough strength to keep them up. Oh, they tried. With each step, they tried to lift them up, but to no avail: they always dropped back to the side. This group of guys must be from the same family, because they all walked with their heads bobbing together in the same manner.

But that wasn't the saddest part. It was the girls they were hanging out with that disturbed me the most. I have never in all of my life seen such "poor" girls. These girls had the opposite problem of the guys -- they all had to wear their little sisters' clothes. Their jeans were about five sizes too small. I don't know how they could even put them on, let alone button them up. Their jeans barely went over their hipbones.

Most of them also had on their little sisters' tops; it hardly covered their midsections. Oh, they were trying to hold their heads up with pride, but it was a sad sight to see these almost grown women wearing children's clothes.

However, it was their underwear that bothered me the most. They, like the boys, because of the improper fitting of their clothes, also had their underwear exposed. I have never seen anything like it. It looked like their underwear was only held together by a single piece of string.

I know it also saddens your heart to receive this report on the condition of our American teenagers. While I go to bed every night with a closet full of clothes nearby, there are millions of "mall girls" who barely have enough material to keep it together. I think their "poorness" is why these two groups gather at the mall, the boys with their short daddies' ripped jeans, and the girls wearing their younger sisters' clothes. The mall is one place where they can find acceptance.

So, the next time you are at the mall doing your shopping and you pass by some of these poor teenagers, would you say a prayer for them?

Received from Linda Mickle.

(-:][:-)

[GCFL.net] Scale Convention

At the scale manufacturers' convention, people often wanted to weigh themselves on different scales to see if they agreed. However, some visitors abstained, not wishing to advertise their weight.

A smooth-talking representative coaxed a woman onto his scale by promising her that he would not look and that she could even cover the digital display so only she could see her weight.

She finally stood on the scale, whereupon a loud, mechanical voice from within the machine announced: "One hundred and sixty-three pounds."

Received from Thomas S. Ellsworth.

(-:][:-)

[GCFL.net] Being Polite

While I was working as a pediatric nurse, I had the difficult assignment of giving immunization shots to children. One day I entered the examining room to give four-year-old Lizzie her shot.

"NO! NO! NO!" she screamed.

"Lizzie," her mother scolded. "That's not polite behavior."

At that, the girl yelled even louder, "NO, THANK YOU! NO, THANK YOU! NO, THANK YOU!"

Received from Good Clean Fun.

(-:][:-)

[GCFL.net] A 4th Funny

One year, Johnny's family was having an "extended family" 4th of July cookout at their home. One of the special treats that year was lighting the fireworks (Roman candles, bottle rockets, missile batteries, etc.) they had bought out of state (they're illegal in their state, of course!).

Just before they were to arrive, a cousin called, saying his neighbors' plans had just fallen through and asking if he bring them along to the picnic -- they even had extra food to bring. "Sure, the more the merrier!"

When the cousin arrived with his neighbors, it was discovered that the head of that family was a police officer. Johnny's father turned as innocently as he could to his son and whispered to him to grab the paper bag of fireworks sitting in the kitchen and hide them somewhere quickly. Johnny disappeared, and the father changed the topic to food for the day. This family had brought some chicken to grill, so the father told them the gas grill was all set to use out back -- they just had to turn on the gas and push the ignition button with the lid still closed.

They headed out to the back as Johnny returned through the front door. The father hurried to him and said, "Whew, that was close! That man's a police officer, and he almost saw the fireworks. Did you hide them real well?"

"Oh, yeah, nobody will ever think to look in the grill!"

Received from Mikey's Funnies.

(-:][:-)

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*Calories That Don't Count*

Dieting is a lot easier when you factor in recently determined calorie counting principles. The following are calories that don't count:

CUSTOM MADE FOOD: Anything somebody made "just for you" must be eaten regardless of the calories because to do otherwise would be rude. But don't worry, because the calories don't count.

FOOD EATEN QUICKLY: If you are rushed through a meal, the entire meal doesn't count. Conversely, if you have ordered something fattening and now regret it, you can minimize its calories by gulping it down.

OTHER PEOPLE'S FOOD: A chocolate mousse that you did not order has no calories. Therefore, have your companion order dessert and you taste half of it.

INGREDIENTS IN COOKING: Chocolate chips are fattening. So are chocolate chip cookies! However, chocolate chips eaten while making chocolate chip cookies have no calories whatsoever. Therefore, make chocolate chip cookies often but don't eat them.

LEFTOVERS: An extra hamburger, a hotdog butt, half a Twinkie, anything intended for the garbage has no calories regardless of what happens to it in the kitchen.

TV FOOD: Anything eaten in front of a TV has no calories. This may have something to do with the radiation leakage, which negates not only the calories in the food but also all recollection of having eaten it. In fact, entire " no-calories dinners" are now manufactured and frozen for this purpose.

ANYTHING SMALLER THAN ONE INCH: contains no calories to speak of. For example, chocolate kisses, cubes of cheese, or maraschino cherries.

CHILDREN'S FOOD: Anything purchased, produced or intended for minors is calorie-free when eaten by adults. This category covers a wide range, beginning with a spoonful of baby tapioca-consumed for demonstration purposes-up to and including cookies baked and sent to college.

CHARITABLE FOODS: Girl Scout cookies, bake sale cookies, ice cream socials and church strawberry festivals all have a religious dispensation from calories. I heard this last Sunday.

LEFT-HANDED FOOD: If you have a drink in your right hand, anything eaten with the other hand has no calories.

AND LAST, FOOD ON FOOT: All food eaten while standing has no calories. Exactly why is not clear, but the current theory relates to gravity. The calories apparently bypass the stomach flowing directly down the legs and through the soles of the feet into the floor. Walking seems to accelerate this process, so that a frozen custard or hotdog eaten at a carnival actually has a calorie deficit.

(-:][:-)

*Incapacitated*

I was recovering from surgery when a charity representative phoned asking me to take part in a door-to-door fund-raising effort. "Sorry," I replied, "but I've been incapacitated."

Undaunted, the caller kept trying to convince me to change my mind and volunteer.

I interrupted and said, "I'm incapacitated. Do you know what that means?"

She hesitated. "It means your head was cut off?"

(-:][:-)

*Getting Out*

During a field exercise at Camp Lejeune, N.C., my squad was on a night patrol through some thick brush. Halfway through, we realized we'd lost our map. The patrol navigator informed us, "Our odds are 1 in 360 that we'll get out of here."

"How did you come up with that?" someone asked.

"Well," he replied, "one of the degrees on the compass has to be right.

(-:][:-)

*Wire Backup*

One rainy evening, my husband, John, and I emerged from a restaurant only to find that he had locked the keys in the car. He insisted he could open the door with a wire coat hanger, so we went back to the restaurant to get one. There were none to be found.

John then ran to a department store a quarter-mile away and returned with a hanger. After a few attempts, he got the door open and we climbed in. As we sat there, soaked and cold, he stuck the hanger under his seat.

With a smug grin, he said, "Now if this ever happens again, I'll have one."

(-:][:-)

*Vice President of Peas*

Tom was so excited about his promotion to Vice President of the company he worked for and kept bragging about it to his wife for weeks on end.

Finally she couldn't take it any longer, and told him, "Listen, it means nothing, they even have a vice president of peas at the grocery store!"

"Really?" he said. Not sure if this was true or not, Tom decided to call the grocery store. A clerk answered and Tom said, "Can I please talk to the Vice President of peas?"

The clerk replied, "Canned or frozen?"

(-:][:-)

Eye Laugh

"Cat Gamer"
http://www.cybersalt.org/g06.php?id=53
"Can Opener"
http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw256
"Horse Teeth"
http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw257
"Cow Lot"
http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw258
"Kicked Out"
http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw259

(-:][:-)

-=+=-
Daily devotionals are available at http://link.Crosswalk.Com/UM/T.asp?A1. 39. 17757. 1. 494611 You can access more information on Crosswalk's Fun page http://www.Crosswalk.Com/fun/! Crosswalk gives credit to the author of a joke when author is known. Feel free to send notification to admin@cybersalt.org in cases where credit has not been given to the author! -SUBSCRIPTION INFO- * Copyright2004 Crosswalk.Com, Inc. and its Content Providers. All rights reserved. Introducing www.Crossguide.Com Where Christians find Products, Services & Ministries.
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"Don't strive for recognition, but work for achievement." -- Vanessa Malone
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Madeleine Begun Kane Latest Columns - - http://www.madkane.com/speech_humor.html - - How To Give A Speech (Humorous How-To) "In a moment of weakness you agreed to give a speech. What are you in for? If you're lucky, it won't be any worse than this..."
http://www.madkane.com
http://www.madkane.com/notable.html (Notables Weblog)
http://www.madkane.com/bush.html (Dubya's Dayly Diary)
Subscribe to MadKane Humor Newsletter (weekly) here:
http://www.madkane.com/email.html
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------------ Safety From The Heart ----------
July 7, 2006
Recliner Safety
Today's Safety From the Heart message is from Charles McMurry.

Well, the vacation season has finally arrived and many of you are already taking time off. This is just a reminder to remember all the great safety tips we have learned during our daily safety meetings. There have been topics to cover just about any and everything you choose to do. But, if you are like me and your only plan is for rest and relaxation, I would like to share some tips for recliner safety.

1) No drinking while operating machinery.
2) No smoking while sleeping.
3) Don't have your feet higher than your head, you may tip over.
4) Keep your head turned to one side to prevent strangling on droll.
5) Have a designated person on call for emergency extractions.

Have a great and safe vacation !!!

Monk

------------ Safety From The Heart ----------
July 3, 2006
Today's Safety From the Heart message was submitted by Pam Kemp.

Fly Your Flag With Pride (Embedded image moved to file: pic04041.gif)

This 4th of July will be a day of rest, relaxing, cookouts, swimming or boating (some will do them all), but let's not forget Why we celebrate this holiday.

If it were not for freedom's sake, none of us would be able to go out and do anything we wanted to do when we wanted to do it...instead we would have someone telling us what to do and where to go. If you have a loved one serving in the Armed Forces...Thank you....for those of you who have lost loved ones .... Bless you and for those of you who observe this day with reverence and gratitude...I salute you.

We have so much to be thankful for and let's not forget this even after the 4th has passed. Let us all carry that thankfulness with us wherever we go and in whatever we do. Don't take it for granted...cherish being with your family and friends because so many cannot. You don't have to worry about dodging a bullet when you're relaxing on your deck....some are having that concern today and everyday they are fortunate enough to wake from a few hours sleep...they are sacrificing their freedom and safety right now for you and me to be able to go freely wherever we please.

Have a Happy 4th.....stay safe....and enjoy your day of relaxation in whatever way you choose to ...after all We are the fortunate ones who can make that choice.

------------ Safety From The Heart ----------
June 30, 2006
Prepared by Ann Oxford, Baton Rouge Tower Employee
Fireworks
The 4th of July is right around the corner and many are thinking about those fireworks. My recommendation is to watch the experts put on their display. Especially this year as the Baton Rouge area is in a drought. So not only is there the inherent danger with the fireworks causing injuries, but they may also start fires. If you must have your own fireworks display, keep lots of water or a garden hose close at hand and take the National Council on Fireworks Safety safety test first. Located at this website:
http://www.fireworksafety.com/home.htm

S - Survey your area for firework displays done by professionals
C - Consider not lighting fireworks
A - Act responsibly
N - Notify. Fire department or an ambulance?

------------ Safety From The Heart ----------
June 30, 2006
HAVE A HAPPY AND SAFE 4TH OF JULY HOLIDAY!
Today's Safety From the Heart message is from Allen Smoak.

Oh, the crazy, lazy, hazy days of summer in the South. There is nothing better to do when the temperature is in the high 90's and the heat index is over 100 degrees than enjoying the sound of the surf at the beach, or the splash of water from children playing in the pool, or a nice, cool glass of iced tea or lemonade, or our blessed air conditioning at home. However, most of us like to get out in it and we can do that safely.

Outside activities, whether these activities are work-related or play, can be dangerous during the summer months because of the heat. We can enjoy the out-of-doors by following a few tips:

....keep hydrated by drinking plenty of water
....take frequent rest breaks
....find a cooler location or a shadier spot to rest
....get plenty of sleep.....7-8 hours
....eat smart....stay away from heavy foods and carbonated beverages
....know the signs of heat stress:
...trouble concentrating
...cotton mouth
...labored breathing
...profuse sweating
....work smarter --- not harder
....plan more physical activities in the morning or early evening hours.

Just the other day, a driver of one of our common flat bed carriers for alkyl cylinders finished chaining down his load and arrived at the Shipping Office for a final inspection and to receive his shipping papers. As he was signing his name, his hand began to shake and cramp. He could not finish. I noticed he was dripping with sweat with labored breathing. I had him sit down and gave him water with a Squincher. In 30 minutes he had recovered and we finished his paperwork.

This driver had taken frequent rest breaks during the 2-hour chaining preparation for his load. He drank plenty of water during that time....the heat was just a little too much on that day.

Know your limitations! Use the buddy system....keep a watch on your co-worker or team mate.

Have a safe, fun-filled summer.
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Our Church, Magnolia Christian Center, has the following mission statement. Our purpose is to build a great church for the glory of God through the great commission and the great commandment. MCC' Vision - That MCC will be a place hopping with children, energized with teenagers, balanced with diversity and transformed by the power of God! We want to turn uninterested people into interested people and win the lost to make fully devoted followers of Christ. www.mcc2000.net
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A little girl went to her bedroom and pulled a glass jelly
jar from its hiding place in the closet.

She poured the change out on the floor and counted it carefully. Three times, even. The total had to be exactly perfect. No chance here for mistakes.

Carefully placing the coins back in the jar and twisting on the cap, she slipped out the back door and made her way 6 blocks to Rexall's Drug Store with the big red Indian Chief sign above the door.

She waited patiently for the pharmacist to give her some attention but he was too busy at this moment. Tess twisted her feet to make a scuffing noise. Nothing. She cleared her throat with the most disgusting sound she could muster. No good. Finally she took a quarter from her jar and banged it on the glass counter. That did it!

"And what do you want?" the pharmacist asked in an annoyed tone of voice. I'm talking to my brother from Chicago whom I haven't seen in ages," he said without waiting for a reply to his question.

"Well, I want to talk to you about my brother," Tess answered back in the same annoyed tone. "He's really, really sick... and I want to buy a miracle."

"I beg your pardon?" said the pharmacist.

"His name is Andrew and he has something bad growing inside his head and my Daddy says only a miracle can save him now. So how much does a miracle cost?"

"We don't sell miracles here, little girl. I'm sorry but I can't help you," the pharmacist said, softening a little.

"Listen, I have the money to pay for it. If it isn't enough, I will get the rest. Just tell me how much it costs."

The pharmacist's brother was a well dressed man. He stooped down and asked the little girl, "What kind of a miracle does your brother need?" "I don't know," Tess replied with her eyes welling up. I just know he's really sick and Mommy says he needs an operation. But my Daddy can't pay for it, so I want to use my money."

"How much do you have?" asked the man from Chicago.

"One dollar and eleven cents," Tess answered barely audibly.

“And it's all the money I have, but I can get some more if I need to."

"Well, what a coincidence," smiled the man. "A dollar and eleven cents---the exact price of a miracle for little brothers. "

He took her money in one hand and with the other hand he grasped her mitten and said "Take me to where you live. I want to see your brother and meet your parents. Let's see if I have the miracle you need."

That well dressed man was Dr. Carlton Armstrong, a surgeon, specializing in neuro-surgery. The operation was completed free of charge and it wasn't long until Andrew was home again and doing well.

Mom and Dad were happily talking about the chain of events that had led them to this place. That surgery," her Mom whispered. "was a real miracle. I wonder how much it would have cost?"

Tess smiled. She knew exactly how much a miracle cost...one dollar and eleven cents .... plus the faith of a little child..

MY OATH TO YOU...
When you are sad.....I will dry your tears.
When you are scared.....I will comfort your fears.
When you are worried.....I will give you hope.
When you are confused.....I will help you cope.
And when you are lost....And can't see the light
I shall be your beacon.....Shining ever so bright.
This is my oath.....I pledge till the end.
Why you may ask?.....Because you're my friend.

Signed: GOD

Thanks to David Lamb
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A woman came out of her house and saw 3 old men with long white beards sitting in her front yard. She did not recognize them. She said "I don't think I know you, but you must be hungry. Please come in and have something to eat."

"Is the man of the house home?", they asked.

"No," she replied. "He's out."

"Then we cannot come in," they replied.

In the evening when her husband came home, she told him what had happened.

"Go tell them I am home and invite them in!"

The woman went out and invited the men in"

"We do not go into a House together," they replied.

"Why is that?" she asked.

One of the old men explained: "His name is Wealth," he said pointing to one of his friends, and said pointing to another one, "He is Success, and I am Love."

Then he added, "Now go in and discuss with your husband which one of us you want in your home."

The woman went in and told her husband what was said. Her husband was overjoyed. "How nice!!," he said. "Since that is the case, let us invite Wealth. Let him come and fill our home with wealth!"

His wife disagreed. "My dear, why don't we invite Success?"

Their daughter-in-law was listening from the other corner of the house. She jumped in with her own suggestion: "Would it not be better to invite Love? Our home will then be filled with love!"

"Let us heed our daughter-in-law's advice," said the husband to his wife. Go out and invite Love to be our guest."

The woman went out and asked the 3 old men, "Which one of you is Love? Please come in and be our guest."

Love got up and started walking toward the house. The other 2 also got up and followed him.

Surprised, the lady asked Wealth and Success: "I only invited Love, Why are you coming in?"

The old men replied together: "If you had invited Wealth or Success, the other two of us would've stayed out, but since you invited Love, wherever He goes, we go with him.

Wherever there is Love, there is also Wealth and Success!!!!!!"

MY WISH FOR YOU...
-Where there is pain, I wish you peace and mercy.
-Where there is self-doubting, I wish you a renewed confidence in your ability to work through it.
-Where there is tiredness, or exhaustion, I wish you understanding, patience, and renewed strength.
-Where there is fear, I wish you love, and courage.

Thanks to David Lamb
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A heart warming story about the President

Story by: Bruce Vincent

For those of us who sometimes find ourselves having doubts about our President, here is an excellent piece -- worth every minute it takes to read it. This story is from Bruce Vincent of Libby, Montana who had gone to the White House with others to receive an award from the President. He writes:

I've written the following narrative to chronicle the day of the award ceremony in DC. I'm still working on a press release but the White House press corps has yet to provide a photo to go with it. When the photo comes I'll ship it out. When you get done reading this you'll understand the dilemma I face in telling this story beyond my circle of close friends.

Stepping into the Oval Office, each of us was introduced to the President and Mrs. Bush. We shook hands and participated in small talk. When the President was told that we were from Libby, Montana, I reminded him that Marc Racicot is our native son and the President offered his warm thoughts about Governor Racicot. I have to tell you, I was blown away by two things upon entering the office.

First, the Oval Office sense of 'place' is unreal. The President later shared a story of Russian President Putin entering the room prepared to tackle the President in a tough negotiation and upon entering, the atheist muttered his first words to the President and they were "Oh, my God."

I concurred. I could feel the history in my bones. Second, the man that inhabits the office engaged me with a firm handshake and a look that can only be described as penetrating. Warm, alive, fully engaged, disarmingly penetrating. I was admittedly concerned about meeting the man. I think all of us have an inner hope that the most powerful man in our country is worthy of the responsibility and authority that we bestow upon them through our vote.

I admit that part of me was afraid that I would be let down by the moment -- that the person and the place could not meet the lofty expectations of my fantasy world. This says nothing about my esteem for President Bush but just my practical realization that reality may not match my 'dream.'

Once inside the office, President Bush got right down to business and, standing in front of his desk, handed out the awards one at a time while posing for photos with the winners and Mrs. Bush. With the mission accomplished, the President and Mrs. Bush relaxed and initiated a lengthy, informal conversation about a number of things with our entire small group. He and the First Lady talked about such things as the rug in the office. It is traditionally designed by the First Lady to make a statement about the President, and Mrs. Bush chose a brilliant yellow sunburst pattern to reflect 'hope.' President Bush talked about the absolute need to believe that with hard work and faith in God there is every reason to start each day in the Oval Office with hope. He and the First Lady were asked about the impact of the Presidency on their marriage and, with an arm casually wrapped around Laura, he said that he thought the place may be hard on weak marriages but that it had the ability to make strong marriages even stronger and that he was blessed with a strong one.

After about 30 or 35 minutes, it was time to go. By then we were all relaxed and I felt as if I had just had an excellent visit with a friend. The President and First Lady made one more pass down the line of awardees, shaking hands and offering congratulations. When the President shook my hand I said, "Thank you Mr. President and God bless you and your family." He was already in motion to the next person in line, but he stopped abruptly turned fully back to me, gave me a piercing look, renewed the vigor of his handshake and said, "Thank you -- and God bless you and yours as well."

On our way out of the office we were to leave by the glass doors on the west side of the office. I was the last person in the exit line. As I shook his hand one final time, President Bush said, "I'll be sure to tell Marc hello and give him your regards."

I then did something that surprised even me. I said to him, "Mr. President, I know you are a busy man and your time is precious. I also know you to be a man of strong faith and I have a favor to ask of you."

As he shook my hand he looked me in the eye and said, "Just name it." I told him that my step-Mom was at that moment in a hospital in Kalispell, Montana, having a tumor removed from her skull and it would mean a great deal to me if he would consider adding her to his prayers that day. He grabbed me by the arm and took me back toward his desk as he said, "So that's it. I could tell that something is weighing heavy on your heart today. I could see it in your eyes. This explains it."

From the top drawer of his desk he retrieved a pen and a note card with his seal on it and asked, "How do you spell her name?" He then jotted a note to her while discussing the importance of family and the strength of prayer. When he handed me the card, he asked about the surgery and the prognosis. I told him we were hoping that it is not a recurrence of an earlier cancer and that, if it is, they can get it all with this surgery.

He said, "If it's okay with you, we'll take care of the prayer right now. Would you pray with me?" I told him yes and he turned to the staff that remained in the office and hand motioned the folks to step back or leave. He said, "Bruce and I would like some private time for a prayer."

As they left he turned back to me and took my hands in his. I was prepared to do a traditional prayer stance -- standing with each other with heads bowed. Instead, he reached for my head with his right hand and pulling gently forward, he placed my head on his shoulder. With his left arm on my mid-back, he pulled me to him in a prayerful embrace.

He started to pray softly. I started to cry. He continued his prayer for Loretta and for God's perfect will to be done. I cried some more. My body shook a bit as I cried and he just held tighter. He closed by asking God's blessing on Loretta and the family during the coming months. I stepped away from our embrace, wiped my eyes, swiped at the tears I'd left on his shoulder, and looked into the eyes of our president. I thanked him as best I could and told him that me and my family would continue praying for him and his.

As I write this account down and reflect upon what it means, I have to tell you that all I really know is that his simple act left me humbled and believing. I so hoped that the man I thought him to be was the man that he is. I know that our nation needs a man such as this in the Oval Office. George W. Bush is the real deal. I've read Internet stories about the President praying with troops in hospitals and other such uplifting accounts. Each time I read them I hoped them to be true and not an Internet perpetuated myth. This one, I know to be true. I was there. He is real. He has a pile of incredible stuff on his plate each day -- and yet he is tuned in so well to the here and now that he 'sensed' something heavy on my heart. He took time out of his life to care, to share, and to seek God's blessing for my family in a simple man-to-man, father-to-father, son-to-son, husband-to-husband, Christian-to-Christian prayerful embrace. He's not what I had hoped he would be. He is, in fact, so very, very much more.

NOTE: If you decide to forward this story... please do not add to it. Let Mr. Vincent's encounter stand as he wrote it.

Thanks to Quinton Riggins
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Activities and Events of Interest
~~~
The Emancipation Proclamation will be on display at the Clinton Library September 22-25, 2007.
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"September 11 WDYTJWD" W. P. Florence
Justice first, then peace."
"September 11" Never forget.--Tony Moses
"ONE NATION UNDER GOD ...the only way"--Phillip Story
"We have nothing to fear but fear itself." -- Franklin D. Roosevelt
"Keeping my head down but face toward Heaven" - - Jody Eldred, ABC News Cameraman in Kuwait
"Remember Pearl Harbor? Remember 9/11!" --"Bug"
Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. - - George Carlin
"Stop telling God how big your storm is. Instead, tell the storm how big your God is!" - - Queen E. Watson
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NEVER FORGET! We're listing the names of our soldiers killed weekly. These records can be found at http://www.defenselink. mil/releases/

01. Cpl. Christopher D. Rose, 21, of San Francisco, Calif., died on June 29 of injuries sustained from an improvised explosive device during combat operations in Baghdad, Iraq. Rose was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 67th Armored Regiment, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 4th Infantry Division, Fort Hood, Texas.

02. Pfc. Justin R. Davis, 19, of Gaithersburg, Md., died in Korengal Outpost, Afghanistan (near Kunar Province), on June 25, when he came in contact with indirect fire while on patrol during combat operations. Davis was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 32nd Infantry Regiment, 3rd Brigade Combat Team, 10th Mountain Division (Light Infantry), Fort Drum, N.Y.

03. Sgt. Bryan C. Luckey, 25, of Tampa, Fla., died on June 29, in Mosul, Iraq, when he was shot by enemy forces while on mounted patrol. Luckey was assigned to the 562nd Engineer Company, 172nd Stryker Brigade Combat Team, Fort Wainwright, Alaska.

04. Airman 1st Class Carl Jerome Ware Jr., 22, of Glassboro, N.J.,died July 1, from a non-combat related cause at Camp Bucca, Iraq. He was assigned to the 15th Security Forces Squadron, Hickam Air Force Base, Hawaii.

05. Sgt. Kyle R. Miller, 19, of Willmar, Minn., died on June 29 in Mosul, Iraq, when an improvised explosive device detonated near his convoy. Miller was assigned to the Army National Guard's Headquarters and Headquarters Battery, 1st Battalion, 125th Field Artillery Regiment, New Ulm, Minn.

06. Spc. Collin T. Mason, 20, of Staten Island, N.Y., died in Taji, Iraq, on July 2 when he encountered indirect fire while manning a checkpoint in his vehicle. Mason was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 66th Armor Regiment, 1st Brigade Combat Team, 4th Infantry Division, Fort Hood, TX.

07. Staff Sgt. Paul S. Pabla, 23, of Fort Wayne, Ind., died on July 3 in Mosul, Iraq, of injuries sustained from enemy small arms fire during combat operations. Pabla was assigned to the Army National Guard's 139th Field Artillery, Kempton, Ind.

08. Sgt. James P. Muldoon, 23, of Bells, Texas, died on June 29 in Balad, Iraq, of injuries sustained earlier that day in Baquba, Iraq. Muldoon was shot while manning a control point during combat operations. Muldoon was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 68th Combined Arms Regiment, 3rd Heavy Brigade Combat Team, 4th Infantry Division, Fort Carson, Colo.

09. Chief Warrant Officer 3 William T. Flanigan, 37, of Milan, Tenn. died in Kandahar, Afghanistan, on July 2 when his helicopter crashed during combat operations. Flanigan was assigned to the Army National Guard's 4th Squadron, 278th Armored Cavalry Regiment, Jackson, Tenn.

10. Sgt. Maj. Jeffrey A. McLochlin, 45, of Rochester, Ind., died in Orgun-E, Afghanistan, on July 5, when his unit encountered enemy forces using small arms fire. McLochlin was assigned to the Army National Guard 152nd Infantry Regiment, Marion Ind.

http://icasualties.org/oif/default.aspx
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Please remember to pray for the American soldiers stationed everywhere around the globe and especially in Iraq. Times have been and are very tough and it would be nice if you would all just say a prayer for their safety and for their families.
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TOURBUS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -:) - :)- :)
Volume 11, Number 55 --- 30 May 2006
Tourbus Home -- http://www.InternetTourbus.com
+---------------------------------------+

TODAY'S TOURBUS TOPICS: Firefox Security, Part Two / Ridemax

Howdy, y'all, and greetings once again from deep behind the orange curtain in beautiful Irvine, California, which is currently celebrating its 35th birthday.
+---------------------------------------+
No, really. I often make stuff up about my beloved hometown -- for example, Irvine really isn't the clog dance capital of north central Paraguay (at least not yet) -- but Irvine really is 35 years old. Check out http://www.cityofirvine.org/35th if you don't believe me. The city history page is a little sparse and does not include such significant historical dates as October 30, 2001, the day I moved to Irvine from Tuscaloosa, AL (a large, nearly landlocked bay connected with the Pacific Ocean by a strait called the Golden Gate.) But Irvine's 35th birthday page is still pretty cool. On with the show...

------------------------------
Firefox Security, Part Two
Audience: All Firefox users
------------------------------

In my last post [which was an awfully long time ago -- sorry about that] I mentioned that Firefox stores its passwords in plain text. That's not entirely accurate. Firefox does encrypt the passwords you ask it to remember, but anyone who has access to your computer can easily unencrypt these passwords by opening your copy of Firefox and then going Tools > Options > Privacy > Passwords > View Saved Passwords.

If you share your computer with others, or if you just want to make absolutely sure your saved web passwords are significantly safer, you have three options:

1. "Throw the baby out with the bathwater": Disable the "Remember Passwords" feature in Firefox so that the program never remembers any of your web passwords.
2. "Lock down Firefox": Create a new, master password that automatically locks all of your passwords from snoops.
3. "Lock down your computer": Use your computer's user accounts feature along with a screensaver password to require everyone who uses your computer to login.

We've already talked about options one and two. You can find those instructions at

http://tinyurl.com/jta3p

I recognize that what I am about to say next is extraordinarily controversial and MANY really smart people disagree with this, but I prefer option three: user accounts. When you set up a user account in Windows XP or Mac OS-X, your operating system creates a special folder into which it stores all of your personal files and settings, including the encrypted passwords you have asked Firefox to remember. This means that other users of your computer won't be able to access your saved passwords in Firefox unless they first login to your user account on your computer. Additionally, setting up and using limited user accounts in Windows XP is a wonderful way to keep some spyware at bay because XP's limited user accounts do not have permission to install new software.

Again, this is controversial. Feel free to skip this if you want. For information on how to set up user accounts in Windows XP, check out either
http://www.dummies.com/WileyCDA/DummiesArticle/id-350.html
or
http://tinyurl.com/3laua

The former is an excerpt from Wiley's "Windows XP for Dummies" book and the latter is page from Microsoft. Windows ME users can learn about ME's built-in User Profiles tool [which isn't as neat or secure as XP's but beats a sharp stick in the eye] at

http://tinyurl.com/rgzpw
and Windows 98 users should read
http://tinyurl.com/ltuzk

To set up user accounts in Mac OS-X, just go to System Preferences Accounts and follow the on-screen prompts. That's it.

+---------------------------------------+
RideMax
Audience: Windows users planning
to visit Disneyland or Disney World
--------------------------------------

With Disneyland a scant 13.9 miles from my home in beautiful Irvine, California, I tend to spend WAY too much time inside the gates of the holy rodent empire. In fact, three Sundays ago I spent an entire day in Disneyland with my girlfriend and her two nieces. We rode the Matterhorn [twice], Dumbo the Flying Elephant, Peter Pan's Flight, Mr. Toad's Wild Ride, Mad Tea Party, Autopia, Space Mountain, Buzz Lightyear Astro Blasters, Big Thunder Mountain Railroad, The Haunted Mansion [twice], and the Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh. And then, at 12:30, we stopped for lunch.

No, you didn't just misread that. We rode 13 rides before lunch! On a Sunday! In May! In a Disney theme park! How did we do it? Well, before we left the house, we used a commercial Windows program called "RideMax." RideMax computed the historical wait times for each of the rides we selected and then created a printable, minute-by-minute, ride-by-ride itinerary that routed us around the longest lines We printed our personalized RideMax itinerary, took it with us to the park, and then proceeded to completely wear out my girlfriend's two nieces [who actually fell asleep at lunch.] Our longest wait time was approximately 10 minutes [Autopia], and on most of the rides we simply walked on without any wait time at all.

RideMax isn't free, and it only runs on Windows. I normally don't promote commercial software on our little bus of internet happiness, but after buying and using the software -- I am a full-paying RideMax customer and the company has no idea who I am or that I am reviewing their software in today's post -- I was so impressed with RideMax I thought you should know about it.

Two versions of RideMax are available, one that covers all of the theme parks in Orlando's Walt Disney World [US$29.95] and one that covers the two theme parks in Anaheim's Disneyland Resort [US$26.95.] Both are available at

http://www.ridemax.com/

Once you download and install the RideMax software on your personal computer, using the software is relatively easy. In fact, check out the "How RideMax Works" page at

http://www.ridemax.com/howridemaxworks.php

to see what RideMax looks like and learn how the software uses historical wait time data to create the optimum itinerary for you, one that helps you and your family spend more time riding Disney's rides and less time waiting in Disney's never-ending lines. You then print your RideMax itinerary and bring it with you to the theme park:

http://www.ridemax.com/sampleplan.php

If you are thinking about spending any time at either Anaheim's Disneyland Resort or Orlando's Walt Disney World, check out RideMax. The software isn't free -- it costs between US$25 and $30 depending on the Disney property you'll be visiting -- but it should help you avoid Disney's "Infamous Adventure of the Endless Ride Queue."

Have a safe and happy week, and we'll talk again soon.
+---------------------------------------+
==[ Tourbus Rider Information ]==
The Internet Tourbus - U.S. Library of Congress ISSN #1094-2238 Copyright 1995-2005, Rankin & Crispen - All rights reserved Tourbus News Service - http://tourbus.com/news.html Subscribe, Signoff, Archives, Free Stuff and More at the Tourbus Website - http://www.TOURBUS.com
========================
.~~~. ))
(\__/) .' ) )) Patrick Douglas Crispen
/o o \/ .~
{o_, \ { crispen@netsquirrel.com
/ , , ) \ http://www.netsquirrel.com/
`~ -' \ } )) AOL Instant Messenger: Squirrel2K
_( ( )_.'
---..{____} Warning: squirrels.
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Scheduled Activities
~~~
Alcoholics Anonymous meets at 8 p.m. Monday - Friday. At noon on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays and at 7 p.m. Sunday at 914 N. Vine
~~~
Columbia County Amateur Radio Club meets Every second Thursday @ 7:00 p.m. Union Street Station. And YOU'RE invited. Net is every Sunday at 20:30 on 147.105.
~~~
Columbia County Diabetes Support Group - Every third Monday, 7:00 p.m. room 222, Magnolia Hospital
~~~
"Focus on the Family" with Dr. James Dobson weekday afternoons at 1 PM on KVMA am 630 it's a great show!
~~~
MCC - Abraham Prayer - Sunday at 5:00 p.m and Wednesday from 11:30 am to 1:00 pm
~~~
MCC - "Beth Moore" Video Class - Thursday nights at 5:45 pm
~~~
MCC - "Faith Builders" Small group meets the second and fourth Tuesdays, 6:30 pm to 7:45 pm.
~~~
MCC - Firm Foundations Class, Sunday 9:30 to 10:15 a.m
~~~
MCC - Meadow Brook Nursing Home Ministry Tuesday from 10:00 to 11:00 a.m
~~~
MCC - Mom's Day Out - Every Tuesday and Thursday from 9 to 2.$10 for the first child, $5 for the second. Call 234-3225 for reservations.
~~~
MCC - Nursing Home Ministry - Meadowbrook Every Tuesday from 10 to 11 am. Taylor, the last Thursday each month.
~~~
Men's Prayer Breakfast held every Tuesday morning at 6 AM in Miller's Cafeteria. If you aren't a regular participant at the Men's Prayer Breakfast, you're missing some great food, fellowship and inspired teaching of the Word. Hope to see you there.
~~~
Narcotics Anonymous 5-6 pm every Monday at 220 Pine street.
~~~
TOPS (Take Off Pounds Sensibly) 5 pm every Tuesday in the Magnolia Hospital break room.
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Emergency Phone Number 911
(Fire, Police, Ambulance, Sheriff, etc. )
Central Dispatch 234-5655
(Non - Emergency Number)
Direct Numbers
Ambulance - 234-7371 (24 Hour)
Jail - 234-5331 (24 Hour)
Poison Control - 800-222-1222 (24 Hour)
http://www. aapcc. org/
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"There is not enough darkness in the world to put out the light of one candle."
"Laugh whenever you can and cry if you need to." -- "Bug"
"I read the end of the book. We win!" -- "Bug"
"We may not be able to cure the world, but we don't have to make it sicker." -- "Bug"
"There just ain't enough fingers for all the holes in the dike." - - "Bug"
"It's no big deal doing what God tells you to do. A big deal would be NOT doing what God tells you to do. Just ask Jonah." - - Paul Troquille
"A simple way to take measure of a country is to look at how many want in ... and how many want out." - - Tony Blair
"Information is the currency of democracy." - Jefferson
~~~~~
Hope you enjoy the newsletter.
Again, thanks to all our contributors this week.

God bless and GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!
Rom 2:1-3 Mat 14:6-10 Mat 13:27-30 1 Sam 17:23,34-36 http://www.e-min.org/
God is Good and Faithful CU 73 IC JFM CSP NREMT-I KC5HII

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Let us hear from you if we can switch you over to the "Word" or "PDF" version of "Da Bleat".
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