Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Location, Location, Location

Volume 8, Issue 29 Friday, July 21, 2006

Hello All,

Something for us to think on II

I received this from a close friend who is about my age and read it and thought about how it applies to an awful lot of us:

TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED the 1930’s 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's!!

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant. They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes.

Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-based paints.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking.

As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, booster seats, seat belts or air bags.

Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat.

We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.

We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this.

We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank koolade made with sugar, but we weren't overweight because.

WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.

No one was able to reach us all day.

And we were O.K.

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.

We did not have Play stations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD’s, no surround-sound or CD's, no cell phones, no personal computer! no Internet or chat rooms....... WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.

We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.

We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.

We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them!

Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of.

They actually sided with the law!

These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever!

The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.

We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL!

If YOU are one of them . . . CONGRATULATIONS!

You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated so much of our lives for our own good

Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it?

Kinda makes me think we have lost an awful lot of our freedoms!!!

Ron Sauro
NWAA Labs

Thanks to Claiborne Sharp Jr.
~~~~~
From an American

I thought you might be interested in this. Leslie sent this to Neil Cavuto at Fox News.
-rick
----- -----

Neil, I had a touching experience and I respect you and your viewpoints/perspectives and wanted to share it with you. My family and I are living overseas as expats (in the Netherlands) for a work assignment for my husband.
As you are well aware, being an American overseas is challenging with the current political climate and the "need" for everyone to express their opinions of the US, President Bush, our foreign policies, and so on. I am very proud to be an American yet I feel myself getting defensive immediately when I meet someone new who asks where I'm from. I just prepare myself for the oncoming "useful" comments and venting session and mostly I let them talk and calmly refute a few points and move on from there.
However, as I mentioned above, I had a different experience last week. I was carrying my grocery bags into my row house and an elderly man was walking his dog past my front steps. I smiled and said hello and he said something to me in Dutch so I told him I spoke English. I then felt myself start to stiffen and waited for the inevitable question and typical response.
He did ask where I was from and when I told him the US, he reached for my hand and shook it and then patted my arm. He became very emotional and in broken English told me he loved America.
He told me of about hiding under his house when the Nazis were bombing his town (Bussum) and how frightened his parents and his siblings were. He said you would look in the sky and see the German planes filling the sky and he thought the world would end. Then he said the beautiful day when he looked up and saw the American planes and his family cried tears of joy and they knew they'd be alright.
He told me of an American soldier who gave him his hat and jacket and how he treasured it. He then summed it up with, " American soldiers are good boys, good boys" and he again patted me on my arm and told me thank you.
We both walked away from each other wiping tears off our eyes and I know I walked away from that experience uplifted and prouder than I've been in a long time.
Despite what the media (Fox News excluded) reports, American soldiers are indeed "good boys" (and girls). I am sure that one day, there will be an exchange like this going on between an Iraqi citizen and an American and the good that the individual soldiers have done will be shared. Amazing what an impact our soldiers can have on people.

God Bless America.
Sincerely,
L Weimer

Thanks to Rick Weimer
~~~~~
Mark your calendars! The Fall Steak and Bingo dinner is being held on August 19.
~~~~~
Fund Raiser for Boy Scout Troop 96

Event: Sit Down Dinner of Pork Loin with all the Trimmings
Date: Saturday August 19
Time: 6 pm
Place: Central Baptist Church Activities Building
Cost: $ 8 each ticket

Thank you for your support of Boy Scout Troop 96--
~~~~~
The photos on the front of this weeks “Bleat” include Kenneth and I mixing pancake batter, Dr. Riggins flipping pancakes, Kenneth and cookies, Pam, Erica and Miss Pattie cooking and planning the days "Dream Center" activities.
~~~~~
Recipe(s) of the week - We’re sharing recipes from Shannon Voigt’s new Taylor Recipe Book

Miscellaneous Tips

 When preparing a cake, the eggs should sit at room temperature for up to 30 minutes before they’re added to the batter. This will help yield a lighter cake. If you forget to take the eggs out of the fridge, warm them up in a jiffy by placing in a bowl of warm water for a few minutes.
 After preparing mashed potatoes, let them cool before using an ice cream scoop to drop individual servings on a baking sheet. Next, cover the potatoes and freeze them. Place the frozen scoops into a resealable freezer bag. When you want mashed potatoes, take out a serving, thaw it and heat it in the microwave.
 Roll cookie dough into logs and wrap them tightly in plastic wrap, then heavy-duty aluminum foil. When you want to use slice the frozen logs or thaw the dough and pinch off teaspoon size portions before baking.
 When reheating frozen casseroles it is best to defrost in the refrigerator overnight. If reheating frozen, bake in a 350-degree oven allowing almost double the original baking time. Keep casseroles in freezer for up to 2 months.
 To ripen a hard avocado, poke a small paper bag with a toothpick in several spots and place the avocado inside, along with an apple. Close and keep at room temperature. The avocado should ripen in 1 to 3 days.
 To save overripe bananas until you have time to make banana bread or muffins, peel and mash bananas with 1 teaspoon of lemon juice for each banana used. Freeze in 1- or 2-cup amounts in airtight containers for up to 6 months. When you have time to bake, about 1- 2 cups mashed bananas equals three medium or four small bananas.
 When grilling pork chops or chicken breasts with barbecue sauce, first grill the meat without sauce over medium coals for 3 minutes on each side. Then baste with barbecue sauce. Continue to baste and turn several times until the meat tests done.
 To reduce tears while chopping onions, freeze onions for 20 minutes before chopping. Also, use a very sharp knife and chop quickly.
 To preserve parsley and other fresh herbs, wash them and place them in their own storage bags before setting them in the freezer. Once they are frozen you can crush the herbs by squeezing the bags. The herbs will keep for a few months in the freezer and retain their fresh flavor.
~~~~~
Don’t forget to check out www.mcc2000.net
~~~~~
We’ve now got several addresses on the web for "Da Bleat." For the latest issue, go to http://www.bugsbleat2q.blogspot.com. Older issues can be found at http://www.bugsbleat.blogspot.com, http://www.bugsbleat1q.blogspot.com, http://www.bugsbleat3q.blogspot.com, and http://www.bugsbleat4q.blogspot.com. Our photos are now posted at http://www.bugsbleatphotos.blogspot.com.
~~~~~
Feel free to share the "Bleat" with any and all. That's why we publish it.
~~~~~
This weeks Charlie, Dinah Sue, and James Fort story: “Dirt clod grenades”

Do kids play outside anymore? We did. Because if we tried to play inside we got into trouble (like we didn’t when we played outside?)

One of the first skills taught when playing “Army” was how to make “Dirt Clod Grenades.” The secret was to find a clump of earth, palm sized, that was stiff but dry enough to “explode” when it hit another person.
Not always easy to find. You couldn’t use “turf” because of the grass roots. It just wouldn’t come apart on impact. Clay didn’t come apart at all, it just “struck and stuck.” And sandy soil would come apart before it hit the victim, usually before it left your hand.
But if you could find some “clods” of dirt, you had “Pay Dirt” for a fun game.
Of course technique is important. We always broke a corner off just before throwing the “clod”. That activated the grenades, just like John Wayne did in the movies.
The second most important part of the fun was having a sufficient supply. Woe to the combatant who ran out of ammunition before the end of the battle.
One of our favorite battles involved Dinah Sue, Charlie and I against our older cousin, Ronnie. He was really getting the best of us until I scored a direct hit in his mouth. The impact along with the source of my grenade (from the edge of the pig wallow.) took the fight out of him. We’ll he didn’t stop fighting really, but he quit throwing dirt clods and started chasing me. That gave Dinah Sue and Charlie a chance to pelt him from the flanks.
~~~~~
BreakPoint
With Chuck Colson

Who Needs Philosophy?
By Mark Earley
7/21/2006
Philosophy Made Slightly Less Difficult

Note: This commentary was delivered by Prison Fellowship President Mark Earley.

Philosophy—who needs it?

I’m afraid that would be the initial reaction of many people to the book Philosophy Made Slightly Less Difficult. Too often we tend to think of philosophy the same way we think of trigonometry or biology: something we were forced to learn in school but soon forgot about. It’s not a subject we tend to think of as having much to do with anything in our real lives.

That’s where we’re wrong, according to authors Garrett DeWeese and J. P. Moreland. To them—and I agree with them—philosophy has everything to do with real life. In fact, they have subtitled their book “A Beginner’s Guide to Life’s Big Questions.”

As they point out, “Your philosophical thinking probably started long ago. At some time you asked yourself whether or not something was real. You asked what was the right thing to do in some situation, or how you should live your life. These questions lie at the heart of philosophy.”

In other words, philosophy has everything to do with our lives—and especially our faith. We’re used to living in a culture where our faith is constantly challenged at the most basic levels. When we tell people that Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life, they are very likely to come back with the argument that truth does not even exist, or that what is true for you is not true for them. They may even call you arrogant for believing that you know the truth. Forget having a meaningful discussion about Christianity; you may not even be able to get a conversation off the ground.

That’s what’s so great about this book Philosophy Made Slightly Less Difficult. DeWeese and Moreland help readers learn to deal with a lot of the mistaken assumptions we encounter every day as we interact with our friends, family, and neighbors. The book deals with questions such as “What Is Real?”, “How Do I Know It?”, and “How Should I Live?” It ends with how to think about science and how to develop a worldview—just the kind of thing Chuck Colson and I write and teach about.

The goal of this book is not to teach Christians how to have an academic debate. Chances are the people with whom we talk about Christianity are not equipped for such a debate and do not want one. What the book will do is teach us to spot the flaws in an assumption such as “There’s no such thing as truth,” or “Morality changes from culture to culture,” and how we can respond intelligently to those statements. The authors do a great job both of simplifying some pretty complex concepts—such as metaphysics and philosophical anthropology—and relating them to Christian theology.

Who needs philosophy? Christians do. Not to become the next Aristotle or Pascal but to equip us to discern the false values of our culture—just as Paul did at Mars Hill, home of the great philosophers of his day. It also equips us to present the Gospel in a way that people who do not share our worldview can at least understand.

Visit our website, BreakPoint.org, for information about this book and many other worldview resources.

For Further Reading and Information

Today’s BreakPoint offer: Good Ideas from Questionable Christians and Outright Pagans: An Introduction to Key Thinkers and Philosophies by Steven Wilkens.

Garrett Deweese and J.P. Moreland, Philosophy Made Slightly Less Difficult: A Beginner’s Guide to Life’s Big Questions (InterVarsity, 2005).

BreakPoint Commentary No. 030625, “Celluloid Philosophy Lessons.”

Breakpoint Commentary No. 050928, “Attacking Cultural Illiteracy.”

Breakpoint Commentary No. 051108, “Intelligence Plus Character.”

Dorothy L. Sayers, “The Lost Tools of Learning,” 1948. Reprinted by Classical Homeschooling, Spring 2001.

James Sire, Habits of the Mind: Intellectual Life as a Christian Calling (InterVarsity, 2000).

Art Lindsley, True Truth: Defending Absolute Truth in a Relativistic World (InterVarsity, 2004).

Stand to Reason is a Christian apologetics organization that helps believers learn how to articulate the biblical worldview in light of secular viewpoints.

See the Wilberforce Forum’s web guide on philosophy.

The BreakPoint Web site and BreakPoint WorldView Magazine feature Colson’s commentaries as well as feature articles by other established and up-and-coming writers to equip readers with a biblical perspective on a variety of issues and topics.
© 2004-2006 Prison Fellowship
~~~~~
Words of the Week:
quandary: a state of difficulty or perplexity.
imbroglio: a complicated and embarrassing state of things.
innocuous: harmless; also, unlikely to offend or provoke.
scuttlebutt: gossip; rumor.
bon ton: the height of the fashion; fashionable society.
nescience: lack of knowledge or awareness.
exculpate: to clear from alleged fault or guilt.
from Dictionary.Com
~~~~~
"Excess on occasion is exhilarating. It prevents moderation from acquiring the deadening effect of habit." - W. Somerset Maugham

"If you limit your actions in life to things that nobody can possibly find fault with, you will not do much." - Charles Lutwidge Dodgson

"The limits of my language mean the limits of my world." - Ludwig Wittgenstein

"Each of us is great insofar as we perceive and act on the infinite possibilities which lie undiscovered and unrecognized about us." - James Harvey Robinson

"In every person who comes near you look for what is good and strong; honor that; try to imitate it, and your faults will drop off like dead leaves when their time comes." - John Ruskin

"Always do right. This will gratify some people, and astonish the rest." - Mark Twain

"History, despite its wrenching pain, cannot be unlived, however, if faced with courage, need not be lived again." - Maya Angelou
~~~~~
BREAKING CHRISTIAN NEWS
http://breakingchristiannews.com/

President Bush Addresses NAACP for First Time in His Presidency
APStaff/TN (Jul 21, 2006)
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2787
"My faith tells me that we are all children of God -- equally loved, equally cherished, and equally entitled to the rights He grants us all."

U.S. House Votes "Overwhelmingly" to Support Israel in the Conflict with Lebanon
AP Staff / AH (Jul 20, 2006)
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2783
"I want to show support for Israel's right to defend itself."

FIRST VETO! - Stem Cell Bill Goes Down
News Staff / AH (Jul 19, 2006)
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2778
"If we are to find the right ways to advance ethical medical research, we must also be willing when necessary to reject the wrong ways. For that reason, I must veto this bill." - President Bush

Senate Passes Embryonic Stem Cell Bill - But Bush Has Promised a Veto
AP, Bradley Mattes / AH (Jul 18, 2006)
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2773
The measure passed 63-37, four votes shy of what would be needed to override the veto.

Missouri Mother Praises the Lord at Funeral for Her Four Children Who Drowned
Aisha Sultan/TN (Jul 17, 2006)
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2769
"In Moore's unshakable faith as a born-again Christian, she believes she will be reunited with her children in heaven."

Prayer & Action Alert: At Least 86 Dead in Latest Tsunami to Hit Indonesia
AP Staff / AH (Jul 17, 2006)
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2768
". . . people shouted 'tsunami, tsunami,' and climbed trees or crowded inland mosques as the wave approached."

Emergency Prayer Request for Israel
Avner Boskey / Steve Shultz, AH (Jul 17, 2006)

NOTE FROM FOUNDING EDITOR: Remember that when we pray for the Peace of Jerusalem, peace can only happen if we simultaneously pray for the peace (with Israel), for Her neighbors who surround her. So Pray for Jacob (Israel), and pray for Ishmael, and that peace will be found between brothers! - Steve Shultz, Founder, Breaking Christian News.

Avner Boskey: (writing from Israel)
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2767
This is a short report of details of today's fighting, followed by a brief analysis, and then specific prayer requests:

The "Menaissance" - UK Author Makes Connection Between Christianity and Manliness
Martin Newland/TN (Jul 16, 2006)
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2763
"There is a resurgence of manliness in America."

84-Year Old Woman Tells Robber He Needs God - Man Falls on Knees and Apologizes
PNJ Staff/TN (Jul 15, 2006)
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2759
84-year old Margaret Molnar of Navarre, Florida saw her husband, Joseph, beaten repeatedly during a recent home invasion. Reportedly, she told authorities that the suspect claimed he needed money for drugs and to get back home to Destin.
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GCF: Location, Location, Location

Emailed to me from another humor list (Marty's Joke of the Day) -Tom To subscribe to Marty's Joke of the Day, send a blank email to: martysjotd-subscribe@yahoogroups.com

If this was forwarded to you, please consider your own subscription to Good Clean Fun. It's free! A smile will enhance the quality of your life. Just send an email to: good-clean-fun-subscribe@egroups.com or visit the Good Clean Fun web site http://www.slonet.org/~tellswor/ UNSUBSCRIBE INFO for Good Clean Fun is at the end of this email. This email was scanned by McAfee VirusScan before it was sent.
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An aching back sent me stumbling to the drugstore for some kind of relief. After a search, I found what I was looking for: a selection of heating pads designed for people with back pain .... all on the bottom shelf.
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Impressions

Emailed to me from another humor list (You Make Me Laugh) -Tom To subscribe to You Make Me Laugh, send a blank email to: SUBSCRIBE-laugh@lists.crosswalk.com
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A wealthy man commissioned Pablo Picasso to paint a portrait of his wife. Startled by the nonrepresentational image on the final canvas, the woman's husband complained, "It isn't how she really looks."

When asked by the painter how she really looked, the man produced a photograph from his wallet.

Returning the photography Pablo observed, "Small, isn't she?"
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Car Privileges

Emailed to me another humor list (Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh List) -Tom Subscribe to Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh list at the website: Subscribe
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The mother and father had just given their teenage daughter family-car privileges. On Saturday night she returned home very late from a party.

The next morning her father went out to the driveway to get the newspaper and came back into the house frowning. At 11:30 AM the girl sleepily walked into the kitchen, and her father asked her, "Sweetheart, what time did you get in last night?"

"Not too late, Dad." she replied nervously.

Dead-panned, her father said, "Then, my precious one, I'll have to talk with the paperboy about putting my paper under the front tire of the car."
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Zoo Trip

Emailed to me another humor list (Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh List) -Tom Subscribe to Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh list at the website: Subscribe
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Little Johnny wanted to go to the zoo and pestered his parents for days. Finally his mother talked his reluctant father into taking him.

"So how was it?" his mother asked when they returned home.

"Great," Little Johnny replied.

"Did you and your father have a good time?" asked his mother.

"Yeah, Daddy really liked it," exclaimed Little Johnny excitedly, "especially when one of the animals came home at 30 to 1!"
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Tree Problem

Emailed to me from another humor list (Marty's Joke of the Day) -Tom To subscribe to Marty's Joke of the Day, send a blank email to: martysjotd-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
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Last October my wife bought a magnolia tree from the local nursery, but after only a few weeks the leaves shriveled. It appeared to be on its last legs. My wife took some leaf samples and marched into the nursery to demand an explanation.

"I know exactly what's wrong with your magnolia," said the manager.

"Good," said my wife. "What's it suffering from?"

"Autumn," he replied.
_ ____________________________ _
____________________________
\\\\ \_/ / Golf is a game in which \ \_/ ////
\ / the slowest people in the world \ /
\ _/ are those in front of you, \_ /
/ / and the fastest are those behind. \ ____________________________
\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / I make my own water: \ /
\ _/ two glasses of H, one glass of O. \_ /
/ / \ ____________________________
\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / \ /
\ _/ A closed mouth gathers no feet. \_ /
/ / \ ____________________________
\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / \ /
\ _/ The best antiques are old friends.\_ /
/ / \ ____________________________
\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / The secret to good golf is to \ /
\ _/ hit the ball hard, straight, \_ /
/ / and not too often. \ _ ____________________________ _
Thomas S. Ellsworth
tellswor@slonet.org
http://www.slonet.org/~tellswor
____________________________
Stop for a visit, leave with a smile! To join Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-subscribe@yahoogroups.Com To leave Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.Com Or visit the Good Clean Fun web site at http://www. slonet.org/~tellswor/
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[GCFL.net] Travel Regulation Changes

In keeping with the latest round of military budget cuts and other funding shortfalls affecting the Department of Defense, changes will be made to the Joint Federal Travel Regulations (JFTR).

Lodging:

All military and civilian personnel performing temporary duty (TDY) are encouraged to stay with relatives and friends while on government business travel. If weather permits, public areas such as parks should be used as temporary lodging sites. Bus terminals, train stations, and office lobbies may provide shelter in periods of inclement weather. Employees are encouraged to stop by local commissaries and post/base exchanges to pick up cardboard boxes, which will allow them flexibility in lodging accommodations.

Meals:

Expenditures for meals will be limited to an absolute minimum. It should be noted that certain grocery and specialty chains, such as Costco, Hickory Farms, General Nutrition Centers, and occasionally Safeway often provide free samples of promotional items. Entire meals can be obtained in this manner. Travelers should also be familiar with indigenous roots, berries, and other protein sources available at their destinations. If restaurants must be utilized, travelers should use "all you can eat" salad bars. This is especially effective for employees traveling together, as one plate can be used to feed the entire group. Military personnel are also encouraged to bring their own food on business travel. Cans of tuna fish, Spam, and Beefaroni can be consumed at your leisure without the necessary bother of heating or costly preparation. Cost of these items will not be reimbursed.

Transportation:

Hitchhiking is the preferred mode of travel in lieu of commercial transport. Luminescent safety vests will be issued to all military personnel prior to their departure on TDY. Bus transportation will be used only when work schedules require such travel. Airline tickets will be authorized in extreme circumstances, and the lowest fares will be used. For example, if a meeting is scheduled in Washington, D.C., but a lower fare can be obtained by traveling to Omaha, NE, then travel to Omaha will be substituted for travel to Washington, D.C.

Miscellaneous:

All military and civilian personnel are encouraged to devise innovative techniques in an effort to save tax dollars. Money could be raised during airport layover periods, which could be used to defray travel expenses. Red caps will be issued to all personnel prior to their departure so that they may earn tips by helping others with their luggage. Small plastic roses and ballpoint pens will also be available to personnel so that sales may be made as time permits. Proceeds must be turned into the military finance section at the conclusion of the TDY.

Received from Rhonda Shiffler.

(-:][:-)

In keeping with the latest round of military budget cuts and other funding shortfalls affecting the Department of Defense, changes will be made to the Joint Federal Travel Regulations (JFTR).

Lodging:

All military and civilian personnel performing temporary duty (TDY) are encouraged to stay with relatives and friends while on government business travel. If weather permits, public areas such as parks should be used as temporary lodging sites. Bus terminals, train stations, and office lobbies may provide shelter in periods of inclement weather. Employees are encouraged to stop by local commissaries and post/base exchanges to pick up cardboard boxes, which will allow them flexibility in lodging accommodations.

Meals:

Expenditures for meals will be limited to an absolute minimum. It should be noted that certain grocery and specialty chains, such as Costco, Hickory Farms, General Nutrition Centers, and occasionally Safeway often provide free samples of promotional items. Entire meals can be obtained in this manner. Travelers should also be familiar with indigenous roots, berries, and other protein sources available at their destinations. If restaurants must be utilized, travelers should use "all you can eat" salad bars. This is especially effective for employees traveling together, as one plate can be used to feed the entire group. Military personnel are also encouraged to bring their own food on business travel. Cans of tuna fish, Spam, and Beefaroni can be consumed at your leisure without the necessary bother of heating or costly preparation. Cost of these items will not be reimbursed.

Transportation:

Hitchhiking is the preferred mode of travel in lieu of commercial transport. Luminescent safety vests will be issued to all military personnel prior to their departure on TDY. Bus transportation will be used only when work schedules require such travel. Airline tickets will be authorized in extreme circumstances, and the lowest fares will be used. For example, if a meeting is scheduled in Washington, D.C., but a lower fare can be obtained by traveling to Omaha, NE, then travel to Omaha will be substituted for travel to Washington, D.C.

Miscellaneous:

All military and civilian personnel are encouraged to devise innovative techniques in an effort to save tax dollars. Money could be raised during airport layover periods, which could be used to defray travel expenses. Red caps will be issued to all personnel prior to their departure so that they may earn tips by helping others with their luggage. Small plastic roses and ballpoint pens will also be available to personnel so that sales may be made as time permits. Proceeds must be turned into the military finance section at the conclusion of the TDY.

Received from Rhonda Shiffler.

(-:][:-)

GCFL.net] Mr. Humphrey Has a Bad Day

At dawn the telephone rings. "Hello, Senor Humphrey? This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house."

"Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"

"Um, I am just calling to advise you, sir, that your parrot died."

"My parrot? Dead? The one that won the international competition?"

"Si, that's the one."

"Darn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird.

What did he die from?"

"From eating the rotten meat."

"Rotten meat? Who fed him rotten meat?"

"Nobody, senor. He ate the meat of the dead caballo."

"Dead horse? What dead horse?"

"The thoroughbred, Mr. Lucky."

"Mr. Lucky! My horse that won the Preakness a few years back?"

"Si."

"How did he die?"

"He died from all that work pulling the water cart."

"Are you insane? What water cart?"

"The one we used to put out the fire."

"Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?"

"The one at your hacienda! A candle fell, and the curtains caught on fire."

"What!!! But there's electricity at the house!!!! What was the candle for?"

"For the funeral."

"FUNERAL? WHAT FUNERAL?!"

"Your mother's. She showed up one night out of the blue, and I thought she was a thief, so I hit her with your new Tiger Woods Nike Driver."

*SILENCE*

"Ernesto, if you broke that driver, you're fired!"

Received from immilt.

(-:][:-)

[GCFL.net] Dead Turtle

"Mommy, my turtle's dead," the little boy, Andrew, sorrowfully told his mother, holding the turtle out to her in his hand.

The mother kissed him on the head and then said, "That's all right. We'll wrap him in tissue paper, put him in a little box, and then have a nice burial ceremony in the back yard. After that, we'll go out for an ice cream cone and then get you a new pet."

"Ice cream?" the little boy said, wiping his tears and smiling. "Oh boy!"

His mother said, "I don't want you..." Her voice trailed off as she noticed the turtle move. "Andrew, your turtle isn't dead after all!"

"Oh," the disappointed boy said. "Can I kill it?"

Received from Marty's Joke of the Day.

(-:][:-)

[GCFL.net] The New Alphabet

A is for apple, and B is for boat,
That used to be right, but now it won't float!
Age before beauty is what we once said,
But let's be a bit more realistic instead.

Now:
A's for arthritis;
B's the bad back,
C is the chest pains, perhaps cardiac?

D is for dental decay and decline,
E is for eyesight--can't read that top line!
F is for fissures and water retention
G is for gas, which I'd rather not mention.

H is high blood pressure--I'd prefer low;
I for incisions with scars you can show.
J is for joints, out of socket, won't mend,
K is for knees that crack when they bend.

L is lost hearing--now what did you say?
M is memory lapses occurring all day.
N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low;
O is for osteo, the bones that don't grow!

P for prescriptions, I have quite a few;
Just give me a pill and I'll be good as new!
Q is for queasy. Is it fatal or flu?
R is for reflux--one meal turns to two.
S for sleepless nights, counting my fears,
T for tinnitus; there are bells in my ears!

U is for urinary; big troubles with flow;
V is for vertigo--that's "dizzy," you know.
W is for worry. NOW what's going 'round?
X is for x-ray and what might be found.

Y is another year I'm left here behind,
Z is for zest that I still have--in my mind.

I've survived all the symptoms, my body's deployed, and I've kept twenty-six doctors fully employed.

author unknown
[edited by GCFL]

Received from J.E.Hughey.

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[GCFL.net] Green Garden Grass Snake

Green garden grass snakes can be dangerous. Yes, grass snakes, not rattlesnakes.

A couple in Sweetwater, Texas, had a lot of potted plants, and during a cold snap, the wife was bringing a lot of them indoors to protect them from a possible freeze. It turned out that a little green garden grass snake was hidden in one of the plants, and when it warmed up, it slithered out and the wife saw it go under the sofa. She let out a very loud scream. Her husband, who getting dressed after a shower, ran out into the living room in his boxer shorts to see what the problem was. She told him there was a snake under the sofa. He got down on the floor on his hands and knees to look for it. About that time the family dog came and cold-nosed him on the leg. He thought the snake had bitten him and he fainted. His wife thought he had a heart attack, so she called an ambulance.

The attendants rushed in and loaded him on a stretcher and started carrying him out. About that time, the snake came out from under the sofa. The emergency medical technician saw it and dropped his end of the stretcher. That's when the man broke his leg and why he wound up in the hospital. The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house, so she called on a neighbor man. He volunteered to capture the snake. He armed himself with a rolled-up newspaper and began poking around under the sofa. Soon he decided it was gone and told the woman, who sat down on the sofa in relief. But in relaxing, her hand dangled in between the cushions, where she felt the snake wriggling around. She screamed and fainted, the snake rushed back under the sofa, and the neighbor man, seeing her lying there passed out, tried to use CPR to revive her.

The neighbor's wife, who had just returned from shopping at the grocery store, saw her husband's mouth on the woman's mouth and slammed her husband in the back of the head with a bag of canned goods, knocking him out and cutting his scalp to a point where it needed stitches. An ambulance was again called, and it was determined that the injury required hospitalization. The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and she saw her neighbor lying on the floor with his wife bending over him, so she assumed he had been bitten by the snake. She went into the kitchen, brought back a small bottle of whiskey, and began pouring it down the man's throat. By now the police had arrived. They saw the unconscious man, smelled the whiskey, and assumed that a drunken brawl had occurred. They were about to arrest them all, when the two women tried to explain how it all happened over a little green snake. They called an ambulance, which took away the neighbor and his sobbing wife.

Just then the snake crawled out from under the sofa. One of the policemen drew his revolver and fired at it. He missed the snake and hit the leg of an end table that was on one side of the sofa. The table fell over and the lamp on it shattered, and as the bulb broke, it started a fire in the drapes. The other policeman tried to beat out the flames and fell through the window into the yard on top of the family dog, who, startled, jumped up and raced out into the street, where an oncoming car swerved to avoid hitting the dog and smashed into the parked police car, setting it on fire. Meanwhile, the burning drapes had spread to the walls and the entire house was ablaze.

Neighbors had called the fire department, and the arriving fire truck had started raising its ladder as they were halfway down the street. The rising ladder tore out the overhead wires and caused the electricity to go out, and also disconnected the telephones in a ten-square city block area. Time passed... Both men were discharged from the hospital, the house was rebuilt, the police acquired a new police car, and all was right with the world once again.

About a year later, the couple was watching TV and the weatherman announced a cold snap for that night. The husband asked his wife if she thought they should bring in their plants for the night.

She shot him.

Received from Kevin.

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-=+=-
Rate this funny at http://www.gcfl.net/archive.php?funny=20060113
Brought to you by GCFL.net: The Good, Clean Funnies List A cheerful heart is good medicine... (Prov 17:22a) Mail address: GCFL, Box 100, Harvest, AL 35749, USA
To print or email this funny to others, go to http://www.gcfl.net/archive.php?funny=20060113
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Here are a few things to think about that you probably have never thought about:
Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"?
Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be good idea to put wheels on luggage? !

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

If Wiley E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Thanks to Cindy Borne
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"Don't strive for recognition, but work for achievement." -- Vanessa Malone
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Madeleine Begun Kane Latest Columns - - http://www.madkane.com/thoughtful.html - - Thoughtful Interview "For a job applicant, an interview is to be sought, then dreaded, then endured. And managers rarely relish interviews any more than the trembling supplicant on the other side of their desk. So it's probably just as well that people can't read minds. If they could..."
http://www.madkane.com
http://www.madkane.com/notable.html (Notables Weblog)
http://www.madkane.com/bush.html (Dubya's Dayly Diary)
Subscribe to MadKane Humor Newsletter (weekly) here:
http://www.madkane.com/email.html
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Television News Archive - - http://tvnews.vanderbilt.edu/ - - The Television News Archive collection at Vanderbilt University is the world's most extensive and complete archive of television news. The collection holds more than 30,000 individual network evening news broadcasts from the major U.S. national broadcast networks: ABC, CBS, NBC, and CNN, and more than 9,000 hours of special news-related programming including ABC's Nightline since 1989.
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Gulf of Tonkin - - http://www.nsa.gov/vietnam/ - - On 30 November 2005, the National Security Agency released the first installment of previously classified information regarding the Vietnam era, specifically the Gulf of Tonkin incident. This release includes a variety of articles, chronologies of events, oral history interviews, signals intelligence reports and translations, and other related memoranda. Note: PDF Reader needed to read articles.
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Pets and Pet Health - - http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/petsandpethealth.html - - This site is from the National Library of Medicine and the National Institutes of Health and presents articles and brochures about the health and care of pets. Topics include: vaccinations, spaying and neutering, fleas and ticks, nutrition, cancer, aging pets, veterinarians, pets and disasters, travel with pets, and exercise. Related site: How Do I Know It's Time? Pet Euthanasia.
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Women's Health: Body Image and Your Health - - http://www.4woman.gov/bodyimage/index.cfm - - This site by the U.S. Dept. of Health and Human Services presents resources to improve a woman's image and health. Related site: Our Bodies Ourselves.
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Child and Family WebGuide - - http://www.cfw.tufts.edu/http://www.4woman.gov/bodyimage/index.cfm - - The WebGuide is a directory that evaluates, describes and provides links to hundreds of sites containing child development research and practical advice. Topics are selected on the basis of parent recommendations; they cover all ages, from early child development through adolescence. The goal of the WebGuide is to give the public easy access to the best child development information on the Web.
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NASA: Comets - - http://nssdc.gsfc.nasa.gov/planetary/planets/cometpage.html - - This site by NASA's Lunar and Planetary Science section provides information about comets describes space missions developed to study and collect solar dust.
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Stateline.org - - http://www.stateline.org/ - - Information, news, and resources on state governments and issues that affect all 50 states.
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------------ Safety From The Heart ----------
July 16, 2006
Open Flames

Today's Message is from Dick Waller (a Houston Albemarle employee).

It's that time of the year when we spend a lot of time outdoors swimming, cooking hamburgers, just enjoying our backyards. Lot's of folks use "tiki" torches, citronella candles etc. to keep the mosquitoes and flies away. Be careful where you place these open flames. Keep them far enough away from anything that will catch fire. Uncontrolled fires really ruin your day.
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Our Church, Magnolia Christian Center, has the following mission statement. Our purpose is to build a great church for the glory of God through the great commission and the great commandment. MCC' Vision - That MCC will be a place hopping with children, energized with teenagers, balanced with diversity and transformed by the power of God! We want to turn uninterested people into interested people and win the lost to make fully devoted followers of Christ.www.mcc2000.net
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Psalm 23
This is an eye opener... Some probably never thought nor looked at this
Psalm in this way... even though they say it over and over again.

The Lord is my Shepherd
That's Relationship!

I shall not want
That's Supply

He maketh me to lie down in green pastures.
That's Rest!

He leadeth me beside the still waters.
That's Refreshment!

He restoreth my soul
That's Healing!

He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness.
That's Guidance!

For His name sake
That's Purpose!


Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death.
That's Testing!

I will fear no evil.
That's Protection!

For Thou art with me
That's Faithfulness

Thy rod and Thy staff they comfort me,
That's Discipline!

Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of my enemies.
That's Hope!

Thou anointest my head with oil,
That's Consecration!

My cup runneth over.
That's Abundance!

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life.
That's Blessing!

And I will dwell in the house of the Lord.
That's Security!

Forever.
That's Eternity!

Face it. The Lord and I think you are special.

What is most valuable, is not what we have in our lives; but WHO we have in our lives.

Thanks to Greg McDaniel
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The other day, my nine year old son wanted to know why we were at war.
My husband looked at our son and then looked at me. My husband and I were in the Army during the Gulf War and we would be honored to serve and defend our Country again today. I knew that my husband would give him a good explanation. My husband thought for a few minutes and then told my son to go stand in our front living room window. He said "Son, stand there and tell me what you see?" "I see trees and cars and our neighbor's houses." he replied. "OK, now I want you to pretend that our house and our yard is the United States of America and you are President Bush."
Our son giggled and said "OK." "Now son, I want you to look out the window and pretend that every house and yard on this block is a different country" my husband said. "OK Dad, I'm pretending." "Now I want you to stand there and look out the window and pretend you see Saddam come out of his house with his wife, he has her by the hair and is hitting her. You see her bleeding and crying. He hits her in the face, he throws her on the ground, then he starts to kick her to death Their children run out and are afraid to stop him, they are screaming and crying, they are watching this but do nothing because they are kids and they are afraid of their father. You see all of this, son....what do you do?" "Dad?" " What do you do son?" "I'd call the police, Dad." "OK. Pretend that the police are the United Nations. They take your call. They listen to what you know and saw but they refuse to help. What do you do then son?" "Dad.......... but the police are supposed to help!" My son starts to whine. "They don't want to son, because they say that it is not their place or your place to get involved and that you should stay out of it," my husband says. "But Dad...he killed her!!" my son exclaims. "I know he did...but the police tell you to stay out of it. Now I want you to look out that window and pretend you see our neighbor who you're pretending is Saddam turn around and do the same thing to his children." "Daddy...he kills them?"
"Yes son, he does. What do you do?" "Well, if the police don't want to help, I will go and ask my next door neighbor to help me stop him." our son says. "Son, our next door neighbor sees what is happening and refuses to get involved as well. He refuses to open the door and help you stop him," my husband says. "But Dad, I NEED help!!! I can't stop him by myself!!" "WHAT DO YOU DO SON?" Our son starts to cry. "OK, no one wants to help you, the man across the street saw you ask for help and saw that no one would help you stop him. He stands taller and puffs out his chest. Guess what he does next son?" "What Daddy?" "He walks across the street to the old ladies house and breaks down her door and drags her out, steals all her stuff and sets her house on fire and then...he kills her. He turns around and sees you standing in the window and laughs at you. WHAT DO YOU DO?" "Daddy..." "WHAT DO YOU DO?" Our son is crying and he looks down and he whispers, "I'd close the blinds, Daddy." My husband looks at our son with tears in his eyes and asks him.
Why?" "Because Daddy.....the police are supposed to help people who needs them...and they won't help.... You always say that neighbors are supposed to HELP neighbors, but they won't help either...they won't help me stop him...I'm afraid....I can't do it by myself Daddy.....I can't look out my window and just watch him do all these terrible things and...and.....do nothing...so....I'm just going to close the blinds.... so I can't see what he's doing........and I'm going to pretend that it is not happening."
I start to cry. My husband looks at our nine year old son standing in the window, looking pitiful and ashamed at his answers to my husband's questions and he says... "Son" "Yes, Daddy." "Open the blinds because that man.... he's at your front door... WHAT DO YOU DO?"
My son looks at his father, anger and defiance in his eyes. He balls up his tiny fists and looks his father square in the eyes, without hesitation he says: " I DEFEND MY FAMILY DAD!! I'M NOT GONNA LET HIM HURT MOMMY OR MY SISTER, DAD!!! I'M GONNA FIGHT HIM, DAD, I'M GONNA FIGHT HIM!!!!!" I see a tear roll down my husband's cheek and he grabs our son to his
chest and hugs him tight, and says... " It's too late to fight him,
he's too strong and he's already at YOUR front door son.....you should
have
stopped him BEFORE he killed his wife, and his children and the old lady
across the way. You have to do what's right, even if you have to do it
alone, before its too late." my husband whispers. THAT scenario I just
gave you is WHY we are at war with
Iraq. When good men stand by and let evil happen son, THAT is the greatest atrocity in the world. "YOU MUST NEVER BE AFRAID TO DO WHAT IS RIGHT EVEN IF YOU HAVE TO DO IT ALONE!" BE PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN! BE PROUD OF OUR TROOPS!! SUPPORT THEM!!! SUPPORT AMERICA SO THAT IN THE FUTURE OUR CHILDREN WILL NEVER HAVE TO CLOSE THEIR BLINDS..."

Thanks to Greg McDaniel
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We need to remember everyday all of our soldiers and their families and thank God for them and their sacrifices. At the end of the day, it's good to be an American.

Red Friday

Just keeping you "in the loop" so you'll know what's going on in case this takes off.

RED FRIDAYS ----- Very soon, you will see a great many people wearing Red every Friday. The reason? Americans who support our troops used to be called the "silent majority". We are no longer silent, and are voicing our love for God, country and home in record breaking numbers. We are not organized, boisterous or over-bearing. We get no liberal media coverage on TV, to reflect our message or our opinions.

Many Americans, like you, me and all our friends, simply want to recognize that the vast majority of America supports our troops.

Our idea of showing solidarity and support for our troops with dignity and respect starts this Friday -and continues each and every Friday until the troops all come home, sending a deafening message that.. Every red-blooded American who supports our men and women afar will wear something red.

By word of mouth, press, TV -- let's make the United States on every Friday a sea of red much like a homecoming football game in the bleachers.

If every one of us who loves this country will share this with acquaintances, co-workers, friends, and family. It will not be long before the USA is covered in RED and it will let our troops know the once "silent" majority is on their side more than ever, certainly more than the media lets on.

The first thing a soldier says when asked "What can we do to make things better for you?" is...We need your support and your prayers.

Thanks to Ricky Shepherd
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Activities and Events of Interest
~~~
The Emancipation Proclamation will be on display at the Clinton Library September 22-25, 2007.
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"September 11 WDYTJWD" W. P. Florence
Justice first, then peace."
"September 11" Never forget.--Tony Moses
"ONE NATION UNDER GOD ...the only way"--Phillip Story
"We have nothing to fear but fear itself." -- Franklin D. Roosevelt
"Keeping my head down but face toward Heaven" - - Jody Eldred, ABC News Cameraman in Kuwait
"Remember Pearl Harbor? Remember 9/11!" --"Bug"
Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. - - George Carlin
"Stop telling God how big your storm is. Instead, tell the storm how big your God is!" - - Queen E. Watson
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NEVER FORGET! We're listing the names of our soldiers killed weekly. These records can be found at http://www.defenselink. mil/releases/

01. Sgt. Thomas B. Turner Jr., 31, of Cottonwood, Calif., died on July 14 at Landstuhl Regional Medical Center, Landstuhl, Germany, of injuries sustained on July 13 when an improvised explosive device detonated near his Bradley Fighting Vehicle in Al Muqdadiyah, Iraq. Turner was assigned to the 1st Squadron, 32nd Cavalry Regiment, 1st Brigade Combat Team, 101st Airborne Division, Fort Campbell, Ky.

02. Sgt. Andres J. Contreras, 23, of Huntington Park, Calif., died on July 15 of injuries sustained when his HMMWV encountered an improvised explosive device in Baghdad, Iraq during combat operations. Contreras was assigned to the 519th Military Police Battalion, 1st Combat Support Brigade, Fort Polk, La.

03. Staff Sgt. Jason M. Evey, 29, of Stockton, Calif., died on July 16 of injuries sustained when his Bradley Fighting Vehicle encountered an improvised explosive device during combat operations in Baghdad, Iraq. Evey was assigned to the 1st Squadron, 10th Calvary Regiment, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, Fort Hood, Texas.

04. Sgt. Alkaila T. Floyd, 23, of Grand Rapids, Mich., died on July 13 in Landstuhl Regional Medical Center, Landstuhl, Germany, of injuries sustained on July 8 when an improvised explosive device detonated near his Mine Protected Vehicle in Ar Ramadi, Iraq. Floyd was assigned to the 54th Engineer Battalion, 130th Engineer Brigade, Bamberg, Germany.

05. Cpl. Nathaniel S. Baughman, 23, of Monticello, Ind., died of injuries on July 17 in Bayji, Iraq, when his HMMWV encountered enemy forces rocket-propelled grenades during patrol operations. Baughman was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 187th Infantry Regiment, 3rd Brigade Combat Team, 101st Airborne Division, Fort Campbell, Ky.

06. Sgt. Robert P. Kassin, 29, of Las Vegas, Nev., died on July 16 at Larzab Base, Afghanistan, when his platoon encountered enemy forces small arms fire during combat operations. Kassin was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 4th Infantry Regiment, 4th Brigade Combat Team, 10th Mountain Division, Fort Polk, La.

07. Staff Sgt. Michael A. Dickinson II, 26, of Battle Creek, Mich., died on July 17 in Ar Ramadi, Iraq, when his dismounted patrol encountered enemy forces small arms fire. Dickinson was assigned to the 9th Psychological Operations Battalion, 4th Psychological Operations Group, U.S. Army Special Operations Command, Fort Bragg, N.C.

08. Sgt. 1st Class Scott R. Smith, 34, of Punxsutawney, Pa., died on July 17 in Al Iskandariyah, Iraq, of injuries sustained when an improvised explosive device detonated during a controlled ordnance clearing mission. Smith was assigned to the 737th Explosive Ordnance Detachment, 52nd Ordnance Group, Fort Belvoir, Va.

09. Spc. Manuel J. Holguin, 21, of Woodlake, Calif., died on July 15 in Baghdad, Iraq, of injuries sustained when his dismounted patrol encountered enemy small arms fire and an improvised explosive device. Holguin was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 6th Infantry Regiment, 2nd Brigade, 1st Armored Division, Baumholder, Germany.

10. Staff Sgt. Kenneth I. Pugh, 39, of Houston Texas, died on July 17 in Baghdad, Iraq, of injuries sustained when his M1A2 Abrams tank encountered enemy forces small arms fire. Pugh was assigned to the 3rd Battalion, 67th Armor Regiment, 4th Brigade Combat Team, 4th Infantry Division, Fort Hood, Texas.

11. Lance Cpl. Geofrey R. Cayer, 20, of Fitchburg, Mass., died July 18 from a non-hostile incident in Al Anbar province, Iraq. He was assigned to 3rd Battalion, 5th Marine Regiment, 1st Marine Division, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Pendleton, Calif.

12. Sgt. Mark R. Vecchione, 25, of Tucson Ariz, died on July 18 in Ar Ramadi, Iraq, of injuries sustained when an improvised explosive device detonated near his M1A1 Abrams tank. Vecchione was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 37th Armor Regiment, 1st Armored Division, Friedberg, Germany.

13. Staff Sgt. Robert J. Chiomento, 34, of Fort Dix, N.J., died on July 17 in Khwaya Ahmad, Afghanistan, when his patrol encountered enemy forces using rocket-propelled grenades and mortars. Chiomento was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 4th Infantry Regiment, 4th Brigade Combat Team, 10th Mountain Division, Fort Polk, La.

14. Staff Sgt Eric Caban, 28, of Fort Worth, Texas, died on July 19 in southern Afghanistan of injuries sustained when his combat reconnaissance patrol came in contact with enemy forces using small arms fire during combat operations on July 18. Caban was assigned to the 3rd Battalion, 7th Special Forces Group (Airborne), Fort Bragg, N.C.

15. Pfc. Derek J. Plowman, 20, of Everton, Ark., died on July 20 in Baghdad, Iraq, from a gun shot wound. Plowman was assigned to the Army National Guard's 1st Battalion, 142nd Fires Brigade, Rogers, Ark.

16. Cpl. Julian A. Ramon, 22, of Flushing, N.Y., died July 20 while conducting combat operations in Al Anbar province, Iraq. He was assigned to 3rd Battalion, 8th Marine Regiment, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

~~

Missing WWII Airmen Identified

The Defense POW/Missing Personnel Office (DPMO) announced today that nine servicemen missing in action from World War II have been identified and are being returned to their families for burial with full military honors.

They are 1st Lt. William M. Hafner, Norfolk, Va.; 2nd Lt. Arthur C. Armacost, III, Cincinnati, Ohio; 2nd Lt. David R. Eppright, Warrensburg, Mo.; 2nd Lt. Charles F. Feucht, Reynoldsburg, Ohio; Technical Sgt. Raymond S. Cisneros, San Antonio, Texas; Technical Sgt. Alfred W. Hill, Temple, Okla.; Technical Sgt. James G. Lascelles, New York, N.Y.; Staff Sgt. William C. Cameron, Los Angeles, Calif.; and Staff Sgt. Wilburn W. Rozzell, Duncan, Okla. All were members of the 63rd Bombardment Squadron, 43 Bombardment Group.

The individually-identified remains of Armacost, Cameron, Hafner and Lascelles will be buried July 19 at Arlington National Cemetery near Washington, D.C. as are the group remains representing all nine crewmen. Cisneros, Rozzell, Feucht, Eppright and Hill were buried elsewhere.

On November 4, 1943 Hafner and his crew took off in a B-24 Liberator from Dobodura, Territory of New Guinea. The men were on an armed reconnaissance mission over the Bismark Sea. A few hours into the flight Hafner sighted a convoy of Japanese ships and was told to shadow the convoy and report back. Four hours later the crew radioed from the B-24 that they had made three direct hits on the convoy and destroyed the target. That was the last radio contact with the crew.

In March 2002 a team from the Joint POW/MIA Accounting Command (JPAC) was contacted by a local government official through the U.S. Embassy. The team was exploring unrelated WW II aircraft crash sites in Papua New Guinea. The official turned over aircraft data plates, human remains and three ID tags which had been found at a crash site in Morobe Province.

During the excavation of the site in Aug.-Sept. 2003, the team recovered additional remains and personal effects including identification tags and bracelets. The remains were submitted to the Armed Forces DNA Identification Laboratory (AFDIL). Specialists at JPAC and AFDIL used mitochondrial DNA as one of the forensic tools to help identify the remains of these servicemen. Laboratory analysis of dental remains also confirmed their identification.

For additional information on the Defense Department’s mission to account for missing Americans, visit the DPMO Web site at http://www.dtic.mil/dpmo/ or call (703) 699-1169.

http://icasualties.org/oif/default.aspx
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Please remember to pray for the American soldiers stationed everywhere around the globe and especially in Iraq. Times have been and are very tough and it would be nice if you would all just say a prayer for their safety and for their families.
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TOURBUS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -:) - :)- :)
Volume 12, Number 03 --- 20 July 2006
Tourbus Home -- http://www.InternetTourbus.com
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TODAY'S TOURBUS TOPICS: Bye Bye Win 9X / Llamas!

Howdy, y'all, and greetings once again from deep behind the orange curtain in beautiful Irvine, California, site of the 2007 winter Olympics' cross country luge event. After a much-needed summer vacation, our little bus of Internet happiness is back to start its
twelfth year of clogging up your email inbox with completely useless information. :-)

On with the show...

----------------------------------
Bye Bye Windows 9X!
Audience: All legacy Windows users
----------------------------------

To celebrate Tourbus' birthday, our friends at Microsoft have prepared a little present for everyone who uses Windows 98, Windows 98 SE, or Windows ME. On July 11th, 2006, Microsoft stopped supporting those platforms. No, really. No more security updates, no more technical support, nothing. You are now, officially, on your own.

Wait, there's more.

On October 10th, to celebrate the 107th anniversary of the start of the Boer War [or something like that,]

Microsoft will end all public assisted support for Windows XP Service Pack1 (SP1). After this date, Microsoft will no
longer provide any incident support options or security updates for this retired service pack...

[From http://www.microsoft.com/windows/support/endofsupport.mspx]

Fortunately, if you have Windows XP, Microsoft isn't completely abandoning you. All you have to do is upgrade to Windows XP Service Pack 2. If you have been religious with your Windows Updates -- and if you haven't, I'm turning this bus around right now! -- you probably upgraded to Service Pack 2 back in early 2005.

If you haven't upgraded, though, or if you just want to double-check that you truly are running Windows XP Service Pack 2, check out my March 2005 Tourbus article titled "How to Safely Upgrade to Windows XP SP2" at

http://tinyurl.com/fz6g2

If you have Windows 98, Windows 98 SE, or Windows ME, and don't want to upgrade to Windows XP, things are a little more complicated. To protect your legacy operating system from future exploits, I STRONGLY recommend that you

1. Stop using Internet Explorer and switch to an alternative web browser such as Mozilla Firefox, available for free at

http://www.mozilla.com/firefox/

Of course, I've been saying this since late 2004 [see http://tinyurl.com/zchvb ] and the US Computer Emergency Readiness Team, a branch of the US Department of Homeland Security, started recommending that you "use a different web browser" back in mid-2004 [see http://tinyurl.com/ywhyk ].
If you still have Windows 98, Windows 98 SE, or Windows ME, using Internet Explorer is the surest way to infect your newly orphaned computer with viruses, spyware, and malware. STOP USING INTERENT EXPLORER! You don't need to uninstall Internet
Explorer -- in fact, you can't. Just stop using it.

2. Get a firewall. I've also been saying this since 2004:

http://tinyurl.com/gp6mk

I fact, if you read that article, you'll get a pretty good idea of why you need a firewall. And if you have a relatively fast connection, check out

http://movielibrary.lynda.com/html/modPage.asp?ID=190

Yeah, yeah ... this is shameless self-promotion for my "Computer Privacy & Security Essential Training" movies at Lynda.com. But the first four movies in chapter two are absolutely free and show you what firewalls are, how they work, and even how to set up and secure a [non-wireless] hardware firewall/router.

What sort of hardware firewall should you get? I recommend getting a US$75 - $100 router made by Linksys, D-Link, or Netgear. You can find routers on the shelves of every major big box retailer including Wal-Mart and Office Depot.

As for a software firewall, check out

http://tinyurl.com/fkqcs

This is a page Microsoft recently created that has links to software firewall vendors that still support older versions of Windows

3. Get a good, up-to-date antivirus program. This is something I've been saying forever, but check out

http://tinyurl.com/h56fe

for something I wrote SEVEN YEARS AGO about the need for a good antivirus program.

Which antivirus program should you get? Well, if you already have an antivirus program, it's probably really outdated and not protecting your computer as well as it should. I recommend uninstalling your old antivirus program [using Add/Remove Programs in your Control Panel] and installing a brand new antivirus program specifically designed for your older version of Windows.

I am a HUGE fan of a US$40 antivirus program called "Eset NOD32 for Windows 95/98/ME." You can download it at

http://www.eset.com/download/index.php

Make sure to download the Windows 95/98/ME version, not the one for NT/2000/XP.

If you don't want to pay for an antivirus program, check out the free version of AVG antivirus at

http://free.grisoft.com/doc/2/lng/us/tpl/v5

It also runs on older versions of Windows.

Do those three things, and you should be able to keep using Windows 98, Windows 98 SE, or Windows ME for years to come.

------------------
A Personal Note
Audience: Everyone
------------------

I have a little announcement to make: I am getting married. No, really. My girlfriend Christine and I have set a date (July 7th, 2007 -- 07/07/07) and a location (Las Vegas.) Of course, I haven't actually ASKED Christine to marry me yet. But she and I have set the date and location. :)

The next sticking point is deciding where we're going to register. I've suggested NewEgg.com and ThinkGeeek.com, but Christine wasn't too receptive to those. I'll keep you posted.

----------------
Llama!
Audience: Llama!
----------------

And, finally, I leave you this week with these heart-felt words of inspiration:

Llama llama
Cheesecake llama
Tablet brick potato llama
Llama llama
Mushroom llama
Llama llama duck

Confused? Visit this link and all will be revealed:

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/llama.php

Have a safe and happy week, and we'll talk again soon.

+---------------------------------------+
==[ Tourbus Rider Information ]==
The Internet Tourbus - U.S. Library of Congress ISSN #1094-2238 Copyright 1995-2005, Rankin & Crispen - All rights reserved Tourbus News Service - http://tourbus.com/news.html Subscribe, Signoff, Archives, Free Stuff and More at the Tourbus Website - http://www.TOURBUS.com
========================
.~~~. ))
(\__/) .' ) )) Patrick Douglas Crispen
/o o \/ .~
{o_, \ { crispen@netsquirrel.com
/ , , ) \ http://www.netsquirrel.com/
`~ -' \ } )) AOL Instant Messenger: Squirrel2K
_( ( )_.'
---..{____} Warning: squirrels.
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Scheduled Activities
~~~
Alcoholics Anonymous meets at 8 p.m. Monday - Friday. At noon on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays and at 7 p.m. Sunday at 914 N. Vine
~~~
Columbia County Amateur Radio Club meets Every second Thursday @ 7:00 p.m. Union Street Station. And YOU'RE invited. Net is every Sunday at 20:30 on 147.105.
~~~
Columbia County Diabetes Support Group - Every third Monday, 7:00 p.m. room 222, Magnolia Hospital
~~~
"Focus on the Family" with Dr. James Dobson weekday afternoons at 1 PM on KVMA am 630 it's a great show!
~~~
MCC - Abraham Prayer - Sunday at 5:00 p.m and Wednesday from 11:30 am to 1:00 pm
~~~
MCC - "Beth Moore" Video Class - Thursday nights at 5:45 pm
~~~
MCC - "Faith Builders" Small group meets the second and fourth Tuesdays, 6:30 pm to 7:45 pm.
~~~
MCC - Firm Foundations Class, Sunday 9:30 to 10:15 a.m
~~~
MCC - Meadow Brook Nursing Home Ministry Tuesday from 10:00 to 11:00 a.m
~~~
MCC - Mom's Day Out - Every Tuesday and Thursday from 9 to 2.$10 for the first child, $5 for the second. Call 234-3225 for reservations.
~~~
MCC - Nursing Home Ministry - Meadowbrook Every Tuesday from 10 to 11 am. Taylor, the last Thursday each month.
~~~
Men's Prayer Breakfast held every Tuesday morning at 6 AM in Miller's Cafeteria. If you aren't a regular participant at the Men's Prayer Breakfast, you're missing some great food, fellowship and inspired teaching of the Word. Hope to see you there.
~~~
Narcotics Anonymous 5-6 pm every Monday at 220 Pine street.
~~~
TOPS (Take Off Pounds Sensibly) 5 pm every Tuesday in the Magnolia Hospital break room.
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Emergency Phone Number 911
(Fire, Police, Ambulance, Sheriff, etc. )
Central Dispatch 234-5655
(Non - Emergency Number)
Direct Numbers
Ambulance - 234-7371 (24 Hour)
Jail - 234-5331 (24 Hour)
Poison Control - 800-222-1222 (24 Hour)
http://www. aapcc. org/
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"There is not enough darkness in the world to put out the light of one candle."
"Laugh whenever you can and cry if you need to." -- "Bug"
"I read the end of the book. We win!" -- "Bug"
"We may not be able to cure the world, but we don't have to make it sicker." -- "Bug"
"There just ain't enough fingers for all the holes in the dike." - - "Bug"
"It's no big deal doing what God tells you to do. A big deal would be NOT doing what God tells you to do. Just ask Jonah." - - Paul Troquille
"A simple way to take measure of a country is to look at how many want in ... and how many want out." - - Tony Blair
"Information is the currency of democracy." - Jefferson
~~~~~
Hope you enjoy the newsletter.
Again, thanks to all our contributors this week.

God bless and GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!
Psa 119:162-165 Rom 3:20-24 Psa 7:14-16 Rom 5:1-5 Col 3:15-17 http://www.e-min.org/
God is Good and Faithful CU 73 IC JFM CSP NREMT-I KC5HII

P. S. If you'd like to be added to the distribution, just drop us E-mail at KC5HII@Magnolia-Net.Com. We offer "Da Bleat" as text, a "Blog" and as a newsletter with pictures in Word and PDF format. For the "Blog" version just go to http://bugsbleat2q.blogspot.com/ to see the latest issue. We also have a site [http://bugsbleatphotos.blogspot.com/] where we post photos that I like.
Let us hear from you if we can switch you over to the "Word" or "PDF" version of "Da Bleat".
If you'd prefer to read "Da Blog" version, just drop us a note at KC5HII@Magnolia-Net.Com and we'll switch you from e:mail delivery to "Da Bleat" Blog. Of course "Da Bleat" is now on the web. Just go to http://bugsbleat2q.blogspot.com to see the latest issue (usually updated sometime Friday evening or Saturday morning. We appreciate your encouragement. We also appreciate your communication when you desire to be taken off our mail list. If you are on this mail list by mistake or do not wish to receive "Da Bleat," please reply back and tell us to discontinue service to you. This email was scanned by Norton AntiVirus 2006 before it was sent.
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